Thursday, May 8, 2008 - No news is good news :)

'Morning Bloggy!

How goes it with everyone out there in cyberland? Can we believe it's May already??? For those of you who live in Vancouver or the lower mainland area, I'm sure you all can relate to me when I say, "WHERE IS OUR SPRING???" Every now and again, we get a lovely, sunny, spring day and it's actually WARM outside... so we all get excited, only to have the clouds roll in the next day and it gets chilly again. I know, I know... there is no need to complain about our weather when you think of folk elsewhere who still have snow lying around, are getting tornadoes and a whole variety of extreme weather... but it sure would be nice to have a stretch of gorgeous, spring weather that Vancouver is so well-known for!

Oh well, besides the boring weather... life is pretty good these days. I can't believe that it was just last week that we got the results from the biopsy and my whole world turned upside down... but then Sharlene and her team came up with a plan before telling me of the biopsy results, so my world righted itself again. Phew! I can't imagine what I'd be going through if she had told me the results and they didn't have a plan set up yet. There are absolutely no words to describe the terror of being in sound body and mind and to be told you have 2 years or less to live. I know, we all have probably gone through the guessing game of, "If you were told you were going to die within a year, what would you do with the remaining time you have left?" Then people think and say they would travel, or spend the time meeting up with friends, old and new, or ... and the list goes on. But believe me, when you are given that kind of news, you don't have the mind capacity to think of the fun things you are going to do... at least, in my case, it was pure just pure shock and terror. Like I say, there are no words to describe the feelings. So for those who say, "Oh, it wouldn't bother me... I'm not afraid of death", I say, "Poppycock!!!" It's easy to say that when there is no reason to think your death is near... and it's also easy to say that if, heaven forbid, you were to die suddenly... if it happened so quickly you didn't know what hit you, then there would be no time to be afraid. But, when you are feeling just fine, physically, and you are told this is what the prognosis will be, depending on the result(s) of a test... well, the word "terror" doesn't even come close to what a person goes through.

So, I think it's taken me the last 10 days just to get used to the news that we have a plan and that these two surgeries that I will be going through may give me a second chance. Even though I no longer need the anti-anxiety/panic meds I was on while waiting for the results... those panic/anxiety attacks did take their toll. I have never been a big fan of the telephone. I find, if you were to talk to everyone you communicate with in a given day, but do it by telephone, then I would have to be on the phone 24/7... so I've always had an aversion to using the phone. I prefer to see folk in person to talk and when that is not possible, then email or the written word, works so much better for me. Well, after the anxiety/panic period... I find I really dislike the phone even more than before... now I think it's almost a phobia. I think, somewhere in my psyche, I relate the phone to the whole doctor/medical thing. Appts. are made by phone, phone calls to say the test results are in, phone calls to make appts. for various tests, etc. So I have found that I now just avoid the phone and realize this is more a phobia right now. Hopefully, this too shall pass :)

Ok... so what's new? Hmmmm! Not too much on the surgery front. I have completed the blood work and EKG that the surgeon had ordered. He was going to get a copy of all the various CAT scans/ultrasounds and go over them before requesting the pre-assessment clinic get in touch with me. The clinic will then go over all the various scans/test results and decide if more are needed or any are needing updating, arrange those and once that is all done, a surgery date will be scheduled.

Meanwhile... I have been joining my friends, Jill and James down at the TUTS office in Stanley Park. For those who do not live here, TUTS = Theatre Under The Stars. If you go back in the blog to the summer, this was a super magical time for me. I was going through my chemo treatments AND involved with TUTS. I found then (as I have all along) that being involved with the theatre IS so much a part of my life, that it is actually a healing process in its' own. Especially with TUTS because we are situated right in the middle of one of the most gorgeous parks you can imagine.

So, like last summer, being involved with the process of getting ready for the two productions this year is just as magical for me as when we are right in the middle of the productions. I was trying to explain this to a friend the other day and I don't know if it's because the environment is so darn gorgeous, the fact it's the theatre I'm involved with, the fact these are friends who are putting these productions together, or if it's a combination of all of these things... but when I'm down there, it's a total escape for me. There is nothing to remind me of doctors/specialists/diagnosis'/hospitals/etc. Since I feel fine, physically, when I'm down there, it's like being a totally healthy, normal person like everyone else... and I love it! And I can take my little Bridget with me, so does life get any better than this?? :)

Here are a couple of pictures of our "place" that is so magical :)



Here's the theatre! Ok, it's not nowhere near ready to open for the summer yet, but you can see that work is being done on it. Notice the area covered in the blue tarp? That's the top of the orchestra pit... it is being totally rebuilt right now because, over the years and being exposed to the weather elements, the wood was rotting away. Likewise, the front of the stage, referred to as the "apron" is being rebuilt. AND we are getting a new roof. This is all being paid by the Parks Board, since they are responsible for maintaining any of the building structures in the park.

Here's the TUTS office. Hehehe... you can see where the climbing "greenery" that climbs up the walls of the building is looking pretty bare right now... but that will all fill out with leaves and greenery as we get closer to the summer. To the right is a staircase going up to the porch/deck area... this is for the restaurant/bar that opens up come late spring. There's the little doorway/stairs going down... that's our office.

Here's the front yard outside our office door. We will keep the door open and this is what we look out to. Pretty hard on the eyes, isn't it?? :)

This is another view of the "front yard". You can see where the theatre structure blends in with the greenery of the park... so the theatre is basically across from the front yard of the office :)

This is the sidewalk/pathway that takes us from the office straight down to the theatre building itself.

Well, darn... I had a couple of pictures of Bridget to add here too, but I guess they are still on the camera. I'll get them up next time.

But, it's time to grab a bite to eat, then I do have to run to the doctor's because of this stupid sebaceous cyst that has formed on my back, about 6-8" above my left hip. Just what I need... to add to the mix :) Then I'll come home, pack up a lunch and some doggy snacks and Bridget and I will head back to the Park :)

Until next time... you all have a great weekend!! :)

Ciao for now!

Cheryl

Friday, May 2, 2008 - A good week :)

Hiya Bloggy!

Well, what a week this has been, no? First we find out the results of the biopsy (see the previous entry) and, although they are not exactly what we would like them to have been, we find out at the same appt. that the doctors' have a plan. A plan that I am very happy with!

Then, on Thursday, I met with the surgeon, Dr. Adam Meneghetti, who will be doing the adrenal surgery. He is a very nice man and I feel very confident and comfortable with him, hence comfortable about going ahead with the surgery. He explained to me that he will definitely would like to do this surgery laparoscopically, which would involve 4 small incisions. He won't know until he actually starts the surgery as to whether he can do it with the 4 small incisions or if it will have to be a larger single incision. Likewise, he explained the risks involved with adrenal surgery.

We have two adrenal glands, one on top of each kidney. There are a lot of blood vessels in the area so one of the risks is bleeding. Likewise, the adrenal gland is very close to a large vein called the renal vein. This is a vein that great care must be taken that it is not nicked or cut because that would mean a major bleed... one that would be very hard to control/stop.

He won't know until he goes in with the camera (or with the naked eye if he has to do one big incision) if the adrenal gland is, in any way, stuck to this large vein. If it is, then he will not be able to take the gland/growth out because there will be no way of cutting it out without damaging the vein.

Of course, it is his job as a surgeon to explain the potential risks, including all the normal risks with any kind of surgery where you are given anesthetic. The possibility of blood clots, pneumonia, etc. Although I know these are risks, since I have been through two major surgeries in the last 7 years with no problems, I am not too worried. I have proven to come through just fine in the past and I don't expect any problems now.

So, the next step was to head off to the lab for, you guessed it, more blood work. He needs a whole set of current blood tests done before the surgery. Then it was off to cardiology to have an EKG to see if my heart is strong and healthy enough to face surgery. I passed those tests with flying colours.

The next step now will be for the pre-assessment clinic to do a exam and run any more tests they feel will be needed before surgery. This will happen sometime over the next few weeks and once that is done, then the surgery can take place. He figures that we are probably looking at the end of May, beginning of June for this surgery.

After I have recovered from that surgery, then I will see Dr. Yee for another consult, this time regarding the lung surgery. He will want to make sure I am totally recovered from this first surgery before we do the lung surgery... so I have no idea how long a "complete recovery" will take. I know they do not like to do surgeries back to back, so obviously he will weigh the risks vs the time and come up with when he thinks it's safe to do it.

That was pretty much my week... other than today, I was down at the TUTS office helping out there. I have talked to James (General Manager) and Jill (Operations Manager) regarding working both shows this summer. Of course I WANT to, but I have to look at this realistically with two surgeries on the horizon. With the first surgery expected around the beginning of June, then recovery time... for all I know the second surgery will happen during the run of the summer shows. I felt that it just wouldn't be fair to commit to being the Box Office Manager this year and then possibly having to bow out before we even open... or bow out at the last minute, leaving them high and dry. The pressure that would put on me to be there and the guilt of not being there after committing... well, I just had to eliminate that for both myself and for TUTS.

So, while I am up and about and feeling fine, of course I will be down there helping out in the office. If for some reason, the timing works out fine and I find out I CAN be down there every night, then I'll be a "floater" and just help out where help is needed... be it in the box office, the coffee bar, or the wine/beer bar. And if I can't be down there because I'm in the hospital or back at home but in recovery mode, well so be it, I won't have to feel any pressure or guilt that I'm not down there after any kind of committments. So it's a win/win situation for me... and once again, they are all there supporting me in this ongoing journey.

But hey, it is going on midnight and even though it's a Friday night, I feel a bit knackered. So, I think my little box office schnauzer and I are going to hit the sack!

Hahaha... how about that... a relatively short blog entry! But I did want to put one in to let you all know that I have met with the surgeon and we have started the process :)

Have a great weekend!!

Cheryl

PS: Ok, in re-looking at this entry, I guess it's not all that short after all. Will I ever learn how to just write a short post??? :D

Monday, April 28th, 2008 -- The Biopsy Results

Dear Bloggy,

Well, what a month it has been!! I am worn out, emotionally... and I think physically. There's nothing like 4 weeks of fear to drain a girl of energy.

But, let me get to the point. Mimi, Jo and I went to my appt. with Dr. Sharlene Gill (oncologist). When she came in, she sat down close to me and made some small talk about how she knew this waiting had been hard on me and how was I doing? She then explained the procedure and how the radiologist had used the fine needle to take different samples of cells from the tumour, but had to be careful that he did not open it up in any way so cells could escape, should they be malignant.

The cells that he took did test positive for cancer. My heart and stomach dropped and I really did think I was going to faint. But, Sharlene held my hands and said, "Cheryl, I have a plan that I'd like to go over with you, so don't panic."

She has spent time this week conferring with other specialists, surgeons, colleagues, etc. and they have gone over the PET scan, all the CAT scan images, the biopsy results, etc. and all agree that since the cancer is localized in the adrenal growth, the recommendation is to surgically remove the gland and the growth. Sharlene is referring me to Dr. Menghetti at VGH on an emergency basis (his secretary called me when I got home and I have an appointment to see him this Thursday) and he will do the surgery. He is going to see if he can do it laparoscopically , which would be less invasive and the recovery time would be much faster.

Then, once I have healed from this surgery, Dr. John Yee (remember, he was the Thoracic surgeon I met and really liked and would do the surgery on the lung), said if the adrenal growth was taken care of, then yes, he would go ahead with the lung surgery.

Sooooo, it means two surgeries but I am so excited!!! We now have a plan!! And the fact that this adrenal growth is malignant, it does not mean it's a death sentence... so I am jumping up and down for joy right now.

I am going out for dinner with my friend, Doug, to celebrate... not to mention, I haven't been able to eat much for the last few weeks and now I'm starving :D

So thank you, thank you, thank you all for your positive thoughts and support. Ok, so it turns out it wasn't benign, but all that positive energy gave me the option of a plan, which was not an option at the last appointment.

We will definitely be having a Celebration party... but I'll have to wait to see what's happening with the surgery dates. We may have to have the Celebration party after the surgeries... but celebrate we will!!!

Ciao for now!!

Cheryl

Monday, April 21, 2008 - Adrenal Biopsy Day

Hiya Bloggy,

Yes, I know it's the evening of April 21st and I'm just getting to post on you, Bloggy, but it was a kind of stressful day and when I got home, I did sleep most of the afternoon away. That being caused by my taking an Ativan first thing in the morning and then another one about 15 minutes before the procedure... so by the time I got home, I was pretty sleepy.

Ok... the morning started with Doug picking my up and we headed off to the Cancer Agency. As luck would have it, the drive went fairly quickly and for some reason there was no road construction to slow things down, which is pretty normal for around the hospital area these days.

Anywho, Doug and I got there in plenty of time, I signed in and shortly after Dr. Bhugrat saw me. He is the Radiologist/doctor who was going to perform the biopsy but first he wanted to show me on the scanned images what/why we were doing the biopsy.

He showed me images from the CAT scans from 2001, 2006 and 2008 of the growth on the right adrenal gland. As far as I could see, there really was not difference... the shape looked the same and the colour looked the same. He then showed me the PET scan image of the same growth and it was lit up in a bright white, which is what has caused the PET scan radiologists to be suspicious and passed it on to my oncologist. She in turn, ordered the blood/urine tests to see if it was safe to go in and do a biopsy on the growth... and it was this biopsy that I had done today.

The procedure is done using the CAT scan machine. First he froze the area with a local anesthetic. I was on my stomach at this time. He then inserted a needle so far, then I would be slid into the CAT machine, a picture taken, then slid out again. This went on a few times until he said that the position I was in, my lung was too close to where he was going to insert the needle into the growth, so he wanted me to change positions so I was on my side... and we'd start all over again.

So again, it was a matter of re-freezing the area, inserting a needle, sliding me in and out of the machine and re-positioning the needle. This time he got it in and had to do it a few times because they wanted a few different samples. This went to the pathologist from the lab who was in the room as well and he prepared the slides, which would then be taken to the lab for analyzing.

The procedure took just over an hour. Pain? Hmmm... I'm not sure there was that much pain, although there was discomfort alright. The needle had to go through tissue and muscle matter, so I can expect to be sore for a few days.

We now have to wait until Monday to get the results and there's really no way the Radiologist could tell me one way or the other which way we are leaning. Adrenal cancer is very rare. Colon Cancer spreading to the adrenals is not common. So it's not like they have a lot of cases that they can compare this too, which is why my case is kind of complicated. On the other hand, I have had the growth there for some time. Does that work for or against me? Hard to say. Should it have come out years ago so it isn't there to become infected, or by removing it, would that just invite a new tumour to grow there from the spread... they don't know.

The unknowns are just too numerous to contemplate the "what ifs", but the biopsy results should tell us what we are dealing with. As I have said all along, if it's benign, I am going to be shouting from the rooftops and will be soooo excited!! I know we will still have to deal with lung surgery, but that will be something I have no qualms about. If it's malignant, then it's a road I just don't want to go down.

So even though the biopsy has now been done and the cells have been harvested, I once again am asking everyone to still send warm, positive thoughts my way! Send those thoughts that when I go to see the doctor for the results of the test that it is GOOD news we receive and GOOD results as to what our next steps are going to be. No bad news or negative news is acceptable.

Thanks everyone... keep hanging in there for me!!!

And for all you 1973 Grads who may just be tuning in to the blog now, Welcome!!! Hello!!! Long time no see!! And by all means, everyone can email me (hiyacher@gmail.com) at anytime. If I don't get back to you right away, don't take it personally... I've been a little slow keeping up with the blog and email.... and let's see, I think this week I'll blame it on the meds. Until I can come up with a better excuse :)

Love ya!!!

Cheryl

Sunday, April 20, 1008 -- Biopsy Eve

Hiya Bloggy,

I just want to thank everyone who has sent me positive thoughts and good wishes for tomorrow morning's biopsy. My friend, Doug K. will be picking me up at 9am (ok, picking up is pushing it... he will be driving his car out of his parking space and pulling it out front of mine, since we are just across the street from each other). We have to be at the Cancer Agency at 9:30am for a 10am procedure. I have to drink 500ml of water before I leave home and I'm sure they will get me to drink more once I'm there since the procedure is done with the guidance of a CAT Scan machine. The procedure itself, will only take 30-40 minutes. They will be giving me a local anesthetic and then inserting a fine needle into the adrenal growth to capture cells from it... and it will be these cells that will be sent off to the lab for analyzing. I'm not sure if that is the lab at the Cancer Agency or if they send them off to Vancouver General Hospital. It should take a week to get the results back, so I have an appt. with Dr. Gill (oncologist) in the afternoon on Monday, April 28th.

This is going to be one very long week for me, so I'm not proud... I have no problems asking all of you, my friends and family, to please think positive thoughts. Surround the right adrenal gland (small gland just above the right kidney) with warm, white light. Granted, once the cells have been harvested, one would think it's a done deal... they are what they are. But I firmly believe that thoughts can be so powerful they can change things even when it seems impossible. When it comes to thoughts, nothing is impossible. So anytime you think of me this week, even though the procedure will be over by 11am tomorrow, keep thinking those positive thoughts that the cells they have collected are benign.

I know all of your thoughts combined make for one heck of a powerful force. You were all there for me when we went through the surgery and they weren't sure I was going to be able to come out of the hospital... I know it was our combined positive energy that not only made that possible, but made it possible for me to get through the 8 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation with my humour still intact.

So let's do it again, gang! Let's prove that this little old (and I mean old, it's over 7 years old) adrenal growth is just a common benign growth. Once we have that taken care of, then getting through the lung surgery should be a piece of cake :)

Thanks, everyone!!

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

Friday, April 18th, 2008 - On the "Smallville" set

Hiya Bloggy,

Yep... it's going on 1am so what are the chances I am going to make this a short entry and head to bed? Hahaha... I do get a chuckle out of some of you, my dear friends, who are concerned when Bloggy isn't updated. Don't you worry... I'm not about to do anything silly... and if something were wrong, then I'd get word to Melinda, my dear friend who started this blog way back when this journey began... and she'd be able to let folk know what's going on .

But really, the last update was only 4 days ago, so I'm not too out of date. I've been much worse when 10-14 days would lapse, right? :) Ok... even though it's almost 1am, I seem to have a little schnauzer here grumbling about wanting her bedtime carrot. Just a second... I'll be right back...

... ok, here I am, back again :)

Well, since I last did an entry on Monday, have you all noticed the new look to Bloggy? I decided to give her a change. I'm not sure if I like all the dots or not, but I will keep it for the time being. Hehehe.. I also added the "Video Bar" on the left, where some of my favourite kinds of videos from YouTube.com can be accessed. I have set it up for clips from American Idol, Canadian Idol and Britain's Got Talent (in case you get bored reading my babble, you can always watch a little video clip or two) LOL!!

Anywho... here's the scoop. I have an appointment now for the adrenal growth fine needle biopsy. It will be done on Monday morning at the Cancer Agency. This is done with the use of a CT Scanner as a guideline so they can see that they accurately get the needle into the growth and are not taking cells from somewhere/something else. This procedure takes about 30-40 minutes. They want me there 30 minutes early for prep (getting changed, drinking yet another 500 ml of water, etc). I also will need a ride to/from... I'm not exactly sure why that requirement since they are not putting me under anesthesia, but I'm not about to question it. My good friend, Doug, who lives across the street from me is going to take the morning off work and take me there, wait while I get the procedure done, then bring me home. I will probably be a little tender and I will definitely have taken my Ativan... both for my panic/anxiety attacks, as well, the results from this procedure are going to have a huge impact on my life.

The results will be the following week... Monday, April 28th in the afternoon. That's when I will be going to see Dr. Gill and she will give the me results and then what the plan will be ... depending on the results. Mimi and Jo will both be coming with me to that appointment so I will have plenty of support from two girlfriends.

Meanwhile... I've been bouncing back and forth from wanting to be by myself until all of this is over and wanting to be with people. To tell you the truth, I don't think I know what I want, so it's great that my friends are just taking me under their wing.

Last night (Thurs), Jill, Shel, Jaime, Naveen, Emily and I went out to Port Coquitlam to the Terry Fox Theatre to see our friend, Lalainia do a one-woman show about her personal journey through Anorexia. It's a show she wrote and starred in. What a powerful show! There were plenty of girls around the age of Jaime and Emily (13-15) and I think this is a show that Lalainia should tour to high schools. Very powerful and the message comes through loud and clear.

Earlier this week, Steve Oben had asked me if I was going to be at St. Paul's Hospital for any reason this week (I have been to their lab for blood work a lot recently). The reason he asked was because they would be shooting scenes for Smallville at St. Andrew's Wesley church which is a beautiful cathedral/church about 2 blocks from the hospital. Well, it turned out that I DID have to have blood work done today and I was going to see my GP...so we arranged to meet.

Hahahaha... this medication I'm on to keep me calm is calming me down so much that it's interferring with my memory!! I got on the bus to head up Davie St. to go to the Doctor, when it dawned on me, I forgot the blood requisition paperwork that I need to take to the lab so they know what tests to do. Arrrrgh! So, I got off the bus and walked home, got the requisition, caught another bus and away I went. I had the appt. with Dr. Fay, then I walked the two blocks down Burrard. I no sooner got to the church and a lady walking 8 schnauzers came by!! Well, I simply had to talk to her!! Claudette is known around the West End/Yaletown/Downtown core as the schnauzer lady. She walks them, trains them, etc. So after talking to her for a bit, I took one of her cards. Not that I need another dog walker , Bridget has quite the collection now! But, you never know :)

Anywho... I called Steve to let him know I was hear, so he told me to come down the back lane of the church and he'd meet me there in a couple of minutes.. they were in the middle of filming a shot. Security let me through but they were hesitant... but then Steve came out so all was ok.

Oh my God!! Did I have a good time or what??? This was just what I needed to have my mind completely occupied!! I had talked to a lot of these people when we were looking after Kim a few years ago... back when she was going through her journey, which ended in May 2005. Kim was the Props Mistress for Smallville, so all the crew and cast knew her. I started a blog, not unlike this one, and kept it up for Kim so that all her friends/family out of town could feel close and know what was going on. We had the same tightknit circle of friends as her caregivers... who are now also circling the wagons when I need them. Anywho... the Smallville company knew me by name but most had not met me in person before. So here I was, 3 years later meeting everyone. Steve was a fabulous host... he was telling me what everyone was doing, how their part fit in with what was going on, how the cameras on trailers worked, the boom mikes, the sound guy and his soundboard, makeup, costumes, continuity... the whole thing. Now I do know the basics of how it all works to put a show together, or so I thought... but I didn't realize how much I didn't know, until today!! I learned so much!!

I'll put some pictures up here on the blog but I'll tell you right up front, no, I'm not putting up any of the actors. The reason being, the blog is like anywhere else on the internet and once a picture gets put up, then who knows where it might end or what someone might do with it. So I am not going to be responsible for any pictures getting out to the Smallville forums and chat rooms ;)

Here's St. Andrew Wesley Church. Notice they have the front and windows all darkened with tarps. The scenes were being shot inside the church so it had to be dark so that the lighting they were setting up on the inside was exactly how they wanted it. So all the outside windows were covered.

Here I am on headset. This was very, very kewl! Everyone is on headset, so you could hear all the directing, blocking, and discussions before the cameras started rolling... then once they were rolling, you could hear the dialogue between the actors.

Hehehe... do you think I'm make a good camera person?? Uh... where do you look into this thing? Oh right... yes, well I'm now taking a picture of the wall!!

I love this window... and oh the magic of Hollywood! This is an actual window in the church, but these windows are actually clear class with etchings. So the lighting guys/gals have actually put gelled lights behind them so they look like they are coloured... and then the reflections on the walls where the filming is taking place is real eerie, which is the mood for the scene in the church.

Here's John. He's the visual effects guy. He does his magic with what has been filmed and then adding computer wizardry. What a fascinating job! And a nice guy to boot :)

Ok, this is just me again, and yes, I'm still on headset although I think they are hard to see in this picture. Why I'm posting it is, you will see some hand drawn pictures on the wall behind me. These are the storyboards. The director will sit with the storyboard artist and they will go through what shots are needed and these are posted in order. But they are not necessarily shot in order... as a matter of fact, they are not shot in order at all. Since they had the church for 3 days, they had to shoot all the interior and exterior shots that they would need and they would not necessarily be in order depending on what was needed for a particular scene (or who). But each time one is shot, then it is checked off... so the storyboard is almost like a mini-cheat sheet :)

This is Ken Biller, the director of this episode. Every episode has it's own director and it is not always the same director for the whole season. Some directors will do 2 or 3 episodes, some will only do 1. Meanwhile, Mairzee (I took a picture of her but it turned out too dark!!) is the AD (Assistant Director) and she is the one who does all the scheduling and making sure the scenes are shot on time. It never stops because time is money... big money!

Ok, here is another example of the window on the left being lit from behind with gels over lights... whereas the window on the right isn't lit with coloured gels. Interesting, no?

Now here are the windows that are white and not lit with gels and lights. Quite the difference, isn't it?

Earlier I had mentioned sound, where I had a portable headset where I could listen to everything that is going on. Well here is the portable soundboard where the sound is cleaned up... background noise is removed, voices are brought up if need be. Steve was also telling me where sometimes a word or phrase might be muffled... so the actor has to do a "loop" where they replace the word, but it has to match their lips, etc.

So that's it for pictures from my day on the set... I'm now starting to fall asleep (these meds are marvelous that way). I had an absolutely fabulous day!! It's been a long time since I spent the afternoon not only enjoying where I was (that's not unusual), but actually absorbing and learning. I feel like there's so much more for me to learn... so Steve says that he will bring me back on set again (yayayayaya! Smoooooch to Steve!)

Hahaha... but I must say, I could slap myself upside the head! I left the set because by that time I had been standing on my feet for 3 hours and those goofy nerve damaged feet were starting to rebel big time! So, I walked the 3 blocks back to Davie and went to the FountainHead Pub for some late lunch. I got there and Jeanine had no sooner set my diet coke in front of me when, voila! I see the blood requisition paper that I had had to go back home for way back in the morning, being used as a bookmark in my book!! I had totally forgotten to go get my bloodwork done which was the whole reason I was going to be up in this area!! Arrrrrrgh! So I told Jeanine I would be back but I had to go get the bloodwork done before the lab closed. Sheesh!! Could you imagine me showing up for my biopsy procedure on Monday and no, I didn't do the required bloodwork?? But that's what I mean about the meds doing a big number on my memory.

Anywho... I did get it done, came back and had something to eat, then hopped on a bus home. But my poor feet...they are as good as broken!! That was definitely too much standing on them and it's going to take a couple of days for them to get over it... and I may have to go back to using the cane again. Oh well ;)

Hahahaha.. meanwhile, can you believe it??? April 18th and Vancouver got SNOW tonight!! Yep, even the little munchkin had to get dressed up for outing into the elements tonight... not that she wanted to go ou...

She's such a sleepy snow-dog!!! :D

Ok... it's now after 2am so I really must go to bed!! I have to get up at a decent hour in the morning because I'm actually going to take a class in card-making at the Scrapbook Warehouse. I'm looking forward to this class and let's hope that my faulty memory doesn't' interfere.

So, I'll sign off now... and still, am asking that everyone send out BENIGN! BENIGN! BENIGN!! positive energy to that adrenal gland... I thank you all for doing this. Remember... when it comes back officially benign, there will be a Benign Celebration Party!! :)

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

Monday, April 14, 2008 - Tapping and weekend pictures

Hi Bloggy,

The weekend has come and gone and a fine weekend it was. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster and probably will be until I can figure out what exactly is going on and how I fit into this big picture.

Well, I was going to type up a nice long babbling blog entry to explain a little more about how I'm feeling on a personal level vs all the various "medical jargon" that gets thrown around. From a medical point of view... there is no new news. The last appt. I had
was on Thurs and that was the same day Jo and I went to the appt. and had that awful experience with David the Intern. We know the interns need to practice their communication skills with real patients and I have had no problem with this before, knowing not to take anything they say at face value... I just nod and smile and comment, "Dr. Gill will be coming in soon, won't she?" which of course, she always does. This was the first time we asked the intern to leave. He had upset me so much with his terminology or lack of it, total lack of compassion, using words that would scare the strongest of souls (you do not go around referring to anything as malignant unless you know for sure 1) it is malignant and 2) you know the patient knows it is). Anywho... thanks to David, that did bring on an anxiety attack and even though I now have medication to keep the edge off, I am not about to feel ok or safe until I know for sure what is happening with the adrenal growth and that it IS benign.

Hehehe... I wish I had the last blog entry side by side to this one I'm typing up so that I don't end up duplicating and saying the same things. That is one thing I have learned about myself throughout all of this... I seem to repeat the same information over and over again. Now, in my defense, part of that comes from friends/family emailing me and asking how I'm doing and/or is there any new news... rather than coming here and checking the blog first. I don't mean to sound cranky, but I remember when I was keeping a blog for our dear friend Kimberley, I had the energy to keep the blog up to date as well as answer questions that came in from her friends... it makes a huge difference when it's not yourself you are talking about. This has been a real eye-opener for me!! Me?? Who loves to talk?? But as much as I find doing the blog therapeutic, it amazes me how tiring it is when talking about stuff that is real... is happening to ME. And then, more recently... when thinking of the possibilities of what could be taking place, then just thinking about them can cause anxiety attacks. So bear with me gang... I DO love getting all the emails of support and just chit-chatty emails from friends, but if you ask if there's any new news or tell me that you haven't had time to check the blog so could I catch you up with the latest, please don't take it personally if I say, "Hey, it's all there and won't be going away, so when you get the time, do check out the blog." I just can't write it out all over again in an email :(

So, tonight I was going to babble about the fun weekend I had... which turned out to be a great distraction. On Friday night, my friends, Shel and Jill had a Magnolia Party BBQ and, as weather would have it, we lucked out! The skies cleared up around 4pm and by 6pm we had sunny, clear skies. Still, a tad bit nippy out, but perfectly fine for cooking outside and then eating inside. It was great to see some friends who will all be working down at Theatre Under The Stars again this year, plus there were new (new to me) folk there who were people that worked with Shel at Infinity Films. A great mix of people and we all had a fun evening. Here are a couple of pics from Friday night:

James Pollard (General Manager of TUTS) and Inga Pedersen (Stage Manager of "Annie Get Your Gun")

Jill (behind the tulips), Naveen and Inga.

Now isn't this adorable?? These children were not only adorable, but were amazing at keeping themselves amused... and then, just before Mom and Dad said it was time to get ready to go home, they got changed into their jammies for the ride home :)

On Saturday, Jo and I went to the opening night of Royal City Musical Theatre's production of West Side Story. They did a fabulous job, as RCMT always does! Ok, what cracked me up, was afterwards, at the Opening Night reception, you know how people all crowd around the tables of food? Well here, they actually had tables built around girls, who wandered throughout the after-show crowd so there was food mingling all night long ... here's a picture of what I mean:



Ok... Sunday it was off to Maple Ridge, which is about an hour's drive from Vancouver. It was Steve's birthday on Friday so his parents were having the Sunday birthday dinner and we all had a wonderful time!! Jo and I went out together because it is a little bit too long of a drive for me right now... but the weather held out, so it was great! A good time was had by all and it was actually the first day that I was calm enough that I wasn't feeling the roller coaster. As a matter of fact, Steve's sister, Sandra is trained in "tapping" which is freeing up emotions by using accupressure points but without the needles (check out emofree.com which is an excellent site with lots of information). Anywho... I'm just going to put up a few pictures here and then it's time for me to go to bed. I am really tired (gee, it might have something to do with the Ativan I took 20 minutes ago) and I want to do some visualization exercises before I go to sleep.

So, from Sunday's party...

Steve, the birthday boy in the gray and Daryl, his brother.

4-year old Stephanie and Bridget. Bridget was so good... Stephanie and her played for hours! Of course, it did help that Stephanie had a bag of Bridget's treats -- Snap Peas and Cauliflower pieces :)

Cousin Debbie, Don and the little diva, Bridget.

Well, here is half the dinner party... as you can see, when we all get together we have to have a large, large extended table or three :)

I don't mind this picture but hello... has the comb been invented yet?? It would be nice if I had put a comb through my hair. This is towards the end of the evening and even I can tell I'm starting to get a little on the tired side ;)

And here is the little diva, just so pleased with herself that she could run around the backyard at great speeds... then just lie down on the grass to cool off. Needless to say, after all her partying yesterday, she's been pretty much a slug today and sleeping all day :)

Well, I was going to talk more about visualizations and self-healing through visualizing. I'm about to start that up again. It was something I have always believed in. Our bodies are made up of so much energy and it's amazing the power we have to visualize and repair the energy that may be broken. So, along with the traditional medicine I will also be getting more into Tapping with Sandra and doing a lot of self-healing through visualization. But more on that later. I must go to bed now.

Nighty-night!

Cheryl