Thursday, May 8, 2008 - No news is good news :)

'Morning Bloggy!

How goes it with everyone out there in cyberland? Can we believe it's May already??? For those of you who live in Vancouver or the lower mainland area, I'm sure you all can relate to me when I say, "WHERE IS OUR SPRING???" Every now and again, we get a lovely, sunny, spring day and it's actually WARM outside... so we all get excited, only to have the clouds roll in the next day and it gets chilly again. I know, I know... there is no need to complain about our weather when you think of folk elsewhere who still have snow lying around, are getting tornadoes and a whole variety of extreme weather... but it sure would be nice to have a stretch of gorgeous, spring weather that Vancouver is so well-known for!

Oh well, besides the boring weather... life is pretty good these days. I can't believe that it was just last week that we got the results from the biopsy and my whole world turned upside down... but then Sharlene and her team came up with a plan before telling me of the biopsy results, so my world righted itself again. Phew! I can't imagine what I'd be going through if she had told me the results and they didn't have a plan set up yet. There are absolutely no words to describe the terror of being in sound body and mind and to be told you have 2 years or less to live. I know, we all have probably gone through the guessing game of, "If you were told you were going to die within a year, what would you do with the remaining time you have left?" Then people think and say they would travel, or spend the time meeting up with friends, old and new, or ... and the list goes on. But believe me, when you are given that kind of news, you don't have the mind capacity to think of the fun things you are going to do... at least, in my case, it was pure just pure shock and terror. Like I say, there are no words to describe the feelings. So for those who say, "Oh, it wouldn't bother me... I'm not afraid of death", I say, "Poppycock!!!" It's easy to say that when there is no reason to think your death is near... and it's also easy to say that if, heaven forbid, you were to die suddenly... if it happened so quickly you didn't know what hit you, then there would be no time to be afraid. But, when you are feeling just fine, physically, and you are told this is what the prognosis will be, depending on the result(s) of a test... well, the word "terror" doesn't even come close to what a person goes through.

So, I think it's taken me the last 10 days just to get used to the news that we have a plan and that these two surgeries that I will be going through may give me a second chance. Even though I no longer need the anti-anxiety/panic meds I was on while waiting for the results... those panic/anxiety attacks did take their toll. I have never been a big fan of the telephone. I find, if you were to talk to everyone you communicate with in a given day, but do it by telephone, then I would have to be on the phone 24/7... so I've always had an aversion to using the phone. I prefer to see folk in person to talk and when that is not possible, then email or the written word, works so much better for me. Well, after the anxiety/panic period... I find I really dislike the phone even more than before... now I think it's almost a phobia. I think, somewhere in my psyche, I relate the phone to the whole doctor/medical thing. Appts. are made by phone, phone calls to say the test results are in, phone calls to make appts. for various tests, etc. So I have found that I now just avoid the phone and realize this is more a phobia right now. Hopefully, this too shall pass :)

Ok... so what's new? Hmmmm! Not too much on the surgery front. I have completed the blood work and EKG that the surgeon had ordered. He was going to get a copy of all the various CAT scans/ultrasounds and go over them before requesting the pre-assessment clinic get in touch with me. The clinic will then go over all the various scans/test results and decide if more are needed or any are needing updating, arrange those and once that is all done, a surgery date will be scheduled.

Meanwhile... I have been joining my friends, Jill and James down at the TUTS office in Stanley Park. For those who do not live here, TUTS = Theatre Under The Stars. If you go back in the blog to the summer, this was a super magical time for me. I was going through my chemo treatments AND involved with TUTS. I found then (as I have all along) that being involved with the theatre IS so much a part of my life, that it is actually a healing process in its' own. Especially with TUTS because we are situated right in the middle of one of the most gorgeous parks you can imagine.

So, like last summer, being involved with the process of getting ready for the two productions this year is just as magical for me as when we are right in the middle of the productions. I was trying to explain this to a friend the other day and I don't know if it's because the environment is so darn gorgeous, the fact it's the theatre I'm involved with, the fact these are friends who are putting these productions together, or if it's a combination of all of these things... but when I'm down there, it's a total escape for me. There is nothing to remind me of doctors/specialists/diagnosis'/hospitals/etc. Since I feel fine, physically, when I'm down there, it's like being a totally healthy, normal person like everyone else... and I love it! And I can take my little Bridget with me, so does life get any better than this?? :)

Here are a couple of pictures of our "place" that is so magical :)



Here's the theatre! Ok, it's not nowhere near ready to open for the summer yet, but you can see that work is being done on it. Notice the area covered in the blue tarp? That's the top of the orchestra pit... it is being totally rebuilt right now because, over the years and being exposed to the weather elements, the wood was rotting away. Likewise, the front of the stage, referred to as the "apron" is being rebuilt. AND we are getting a new roof. This is all being paid by the Parks Board, since they are responsible for maintaining any of the building structures in the park.

Here's the TUTS office. Hehehe... you can see where the climbing "greenery" that climbs up the walls of the building is looking pretty bare right now... but that will all fill out with leaves and greenery as we get closer to the summer. To the right is a staircase going up to the porch/deck area... this is for the restaurant/bar that opens up come late spring. There's the little doorway/stairs going down... that's our office.

Here's the front yard outside our office door. We will keep the door open and this is what we look out to. Pretty hard on the eyes, isn't it?? :)

This is another view of the "front yard". You can see where the theatre structure blends in with the greenery of the park... so the theatre is basically across from the front yard of the office :)

This is the sidewalk/pathway that takes us from the office straight down to the theatre building itself.

Well, darn... I had a couple of pictures of Bridget to add here too, but I guess they are still on the camera. I'll get them up next time.

But, it's time to grab a bite to eat, then I do have to run to the doctor's because of this stupid sebaceous cyst that has formed on my back, about 6-8" above my left hip. Just what I need... to add to the mix :) Then I'll come home, pack up a lunch and some doggy snacks and Bridget and I will head back to the Park :)

Until next time... you all have a great weekend!! :)

Ciao for now!

Cheryl