Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 - Valentine's Day

Dear Babbling Blog,

I hope, everyone who celebrates Valentine's Day had a day full of love and surprises. Me, I have to admit I've never been big on this day of hearts and cupids. The way I look at it, if you are in love, or you want to show love to your loved ones, then this should be a year round celebration, not just one day in 365! Does this sound like I've been single too long??? (grin)

Anywho, I had a wonderful chat with Steve O. today. We both are very much into "The Secret" which is all about the Laws of Attraction. It is how I want to live my life and although the concept is very simple, changing old habits/ways of thinking is sometimes not as easy as one might think! But hey, it's all part of the learning process and I realize that I have been given this challenge/hurdle in my life to actually help me live my beliefs the way I really want to.

Hahaha... no, I am not on any kind of drugs (grin) and no, I'm not going to give sermons. But what I am going to do is change the focus on what this journal is all about. As we all know, one can look at a glass as half full or half empty... both are correct, but it all depends on how one see things and what they focus on. With the Laws of Attraction, whatever you focus on, you will receive in abundance.

After all the various medical appointments I've had in the last 2 weeks, I started focusing on the symptoms, the statistics, the fear, the doubt... and in some ways, started to obsess about them. This in turn causes anxiety and worry... and the more you think about something, the more you will receive that something in abundance.

From now on this journey is about GOOD HEALTH! I know I'm a strong person, both physically and mentally. I still have my health and although it is being challenged right now, it is just a way I can show myself and the world that GOOD HEALTH overcomes medical hurdles every time. It's when you start doubting that you have good health that you run into problems. I've always had GOOD HEALTH and now is no different!

Along with GOOD HEALTH is a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR. I have always used HUMOUR to help me out of some of life's tough spots and it has never let me down. I'll be the first to admit that when a situation requires one to be solemn and serious, I have a real hard time. I do try to be a mature adult and do what is required, but in all honesty, being serious is not one of my strong points. Maybe I need to work on that, although I prefer to change a serious moment into one that can be dealt with with HUMOUR.

Let's see, what are some other traits I am grateful that I have? A SENSE OF ADVENTURE! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one to go jumping out of planes, or do extreme sports. Not that kind of adventure, but I love to try new things, to learn, to organize, to take a problem and see if I can come up with a solution. I love the romance of travel... seeing places that are new to me. Heck, I like seeing places that I've seen before and enjoy seeing repeatedly.

CONTROL is another trait that I have. Now this can be seen as a good thing or a not so good thing, but it's one that I see in myself and has done me well in the past. By CONTROL I mean that I can take on a project and I must have CONTROL in getting the project done. Whether it means coming up with a plan, implementing it, then following it through until the end, I have a hard time delegating or giving the control over to someone else. But because of this trait of CONTROL, I can get things done. CONTROL is not to be confused with DISCIPLINE. Hahaha... I do not have much in the way of DISCIPLINE, although I'm sure I confuse myself and think I may be disciplined, when in fact I'm just being a CONTROL freak (grin).

Throughout this blog, I will be calling on more traits and gifts that I might possess... traits that define me as a person and traits that I have yet to learn I possess. It is all these traits that make me who I am, for better or worse. There will be some that I have to let go of... to make room for new ones.

We all carry baggage from the past, and I am no different than anyone else. I've held on to some of that baggage for years. I can probably come up with all kinds of excuses as to why I'm still holding onto a grudge or why I really, really don't like something. Well, it's time to let all of that baggage go... who really needs it? What good has ever come out of holding onto old baggage from the past? By letting it go, this leaves room for what is really important in one's life NOW... not what may have been important in the PAST.

I am putting it in writing right here and now... I am a HAPPY person who LOVES to LOVE, who LOVES to LEARN, who deserves to be HAPPY, HEALTHY and yes, WEALTHY. WEALTHY in LOVE, FRIENDSHIPS and COMFORT. I put this out to the universe and because of the Laws of Attraction, I will attract more of the above over the course of this journey I am traveling on.

When I write about my days, the focus will be on how my HEALTH, HUMOUR and DESIRE TO LEARN will overcome any hurdles thrown in my path!

So, how did my day go today?? Well, it started out with frustration and I didn't see it as part of the learning process. I had gone to a walk-in clinic around the corner from me to have the packing/dressing on the part of the incision that has not healed, changed. This clinic does not do wound dressings. How strange is that? So I was frustrated, came home, and that's when Steve called. Our conversation brought me out of the frustration... sometimes one just needs to have a good old discussion with a friend :) This evening, I went to another walk-in clinic up the street from me, a little further away, so I took the car (besides being dark out, it was raining, so I felt lazy (grin)). This time, the doctor at this clinic DID change the packing/dressing, but he admitted that he doesn't do very many of them and suggested that I have my surgeon arrange for home care nursing since they do these all the time and know exactly when to change from a wet saline packing to a dry packing.

I know Dr. Brown had said that home care nursing could be arranged, but when his nurse did the packing/dressing, she said I didn't need home care nursing, that I could just go into a walk-in clinic at my convenience. Well, lesson #1... it looks like this might not necessarily be the solution since these walk-in clinics are not prepared to do wound dressings. So, I will call the office tomorrow and see about arranging for a home care nurse to come out and then we don't have to think about it and that will be the perfect solution :) Problem solved.

I received a few phone calls with a few more appointments. Now that I have an appointment at VGH (Vancouver General Hospital) for next Thurs (Feb 22) to have the Hickman Subtaneous Port put in, the Cancer Agency could go ahead and make my appts. to get the lab work (blood work for a baseline) and the appt. with Dr. Sharlene Gill (oncologist). The appt. with Dr. Gill is for March 16 and I can go to the lab up the street in my neighbourhood beforehand (March 14) to get my bloodwork done. Once she has seen the bloodwork, then we can start the chemo. This will be the start to getting rid of any potential stray bad cells, and back to confirming my good health.

I am actually looking forward to starting. I have all kinds of information now compartmentalized in my head and I'm ready! I am reclaiming my health because I have soooo many things that I want to do and now have given myself permission to go ahead and do them! World, look out!!! :D :D

Cheryl