Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dear Bloggy,

Yet another week or three goes by and it suddenly dawns on me (ok, maybe I was nudged a little bit) that I hadn't put in an entry here on Bloggy for some time. The good news... I've been busy doing "stuff". When I think back on the last couple of weeks, I can't really even think of anything in particular I've been doing, but whatever it is... it's kept me busy and out of mischief. Unfortunately, it's also kept me away from the computer so not only is Bloggy out of date... you should see my email inbox!! Hahaha... I really and truly have to just get in there and delete, delete, delete since I'm obviously not going to be able to respond to all the email that's in there. I mean, I've already weeded out the ones that didn't need responding to.... and still, it's getting crazy! I figure, if I delete them all now, then only deal with incoming recent mail, maybe I stand a better chance of keeping up on my email. Hahaha... and before anyone says, "To heck with email... the fact you are out and enjoying yourself, that is the main thing!" Well, yes it is... and yes, I have been enjoying whatever I'm doing... but I also enjoy sitting at the computer on those cozy evenings (or days) where it's raining and nasty out. On days/evenings like that, I don't want to go out in the elements... I totally enjoy getting into my comfy jammies, making a nice hot cuppa tea, and losing myself in email or getting lots of chuckles from lots of you who are on Facebook :)

Sooo, basically what I'm saying is, up to now all has been fine and I feel great!

But... whenever there's good news, it seems it's not too long before some not so good news follows. I have to admit, I'm getting real tired of hearing the not so good news :/ I will fight this to the end, but still, it can bring a girl's spirits down when told the battle is not over yet.

I was in to see Dr. Yee, the lung surgeon today. He, of course, has the more detailed report from the CAT scan I had a couple of weeks back. If you recall, I was jumping up and down with the news that he had not received the report from the CAT scan dept. but from what he could see on the software he has access to, the one lung lesion had not grown much at all in the 5 months. Well, that may be true, but the CAT scan doctor feels that since it IS growing and since it did light up on that first PET scan, there's a 90% chance it is cancer... spread from the colon cancer. Then there were other spots... granted, they are very small in the scheme of things, but there are 6 other small spots. 2 of them have not grown or changed at all in the 5 months and Dr. Yee is pretty sure they are just scarring from when I had pneumonia. Another spot that we had before which is 4mm in size, has not grown at all... so it's quite possible that it is scarring as well. But there are 3 spots around the 4mm size that have grown since the last CAT scan 5 months ago. They are agonizingly slow growing, so at the moment, all we can do is keep an eye on them.

So what does this mean?? Unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to have to go back on chemo for 3 months to see if the chemo will kill these small 4-5mm spots. We have the chance of having the lung surgery to remove the largest growth... the one that we know is cancer either before getting chemo or after the rounds of chemo. Dr. Yee prefers after because if the chemo does not kill off the small growths/spots, then there's no point in putting me through the lung surgery which is a major surgery with risks involved.

So, once again, I am having to hear those words "Metasticized", "Chances of success not being really high", etc. So, I am going to be going in to see my GP and have him go over this with me again and how does he interpret the results, as well, I will be going in to see Dr. Gill (my oncologist) to talk over what our chemo options are or if there's any other plan. I have a PET scan scheduled for Oct 1, so I will wait to see Dr. Gill until after the PET scan. I thought this PET scan was to see if the lung lesion lit up on the second scan, but apparently that's not the case. They already know it lit it up... the second PET scan is to see if there are any signs of cancer showing up in the intestine, abdomen, liver, etc.

Well, that's the latest and not so greatest... but I am going to go somewhat into denial and just continue on as if all is just fine. It's either that or I could drive myself into a panic... and I did that the last time and it was NOT a good thing.

Soooo, I know I keep asking this, but everyone put together that positive energy. It has gotten me out of past scares and I see no reason why, if I have everyone sending out positive energy it doesn't continue to work for me!

I'm off for a quick visit with my Dad, and then will be meeting my good buddies, Peggy, Doug and Marilyn for dinner and catching up tonight!

Ciao!

Cheryl