Monday, June 22, 2009 -- Here I am!! :)

Hello Bloggy-mates!

I know, I know... it's been awhile! And I knew it had been awhile when people started sending me email reminding me that the last entry was June 5th. Oops! Sorry about that :)

Yes, I'm still around and busier than ever! Who would have thunk it, eh?? Theatre Under the Stars (TUTS) is getting closer and closer to opening... and the closer we get, the crazier it gets down in the office. I swear, at times it's like we have 10 things on the go at any given time. Why, it's been so busy down there that it just hit me today (Monday) that tomorrow, I'm training a few new box office volunteers on the Tickets Tonight ticket system... and do you think I have any training materials put together? Nooooo... I haven't had time! LOL! Ok, does this mean I literally am going to do a Box Office training session on the fly? It's looking like it might be so since it is already 10pm and I've just finished dinner. Bridget and I didn't get home until 8:30pm, and then I had to make dinner. So the chances of me actually starting tonight to put something together are pretty slim indeed.

Speaking of Bridget... for those of you not on Facebook, you probably have not seen the little Diva's newest pictures. We aren't exactly sure what she did to her front right paw, but it has been bothering her for about 2 weeks. Dr. Joan thinks she may have stepped on something sharp or, it's possible there is a sliver of glass that managed to get embedded. The skin between her pad and toes is a little on the inflamed side, although there's no puncture wound. So, Dr. Joan applied a poultice with the hopes that this will soothe the inflamed area and if there is anything embedded, will draw it out. Meanwhile, the poultice is wrapped in gauze and then cotton and then more gauze and then the stretchy tape that they use on animals. Bridget LOVES her blue sock and let me tell you, she really does milk it for all it's worth :)

"Look at my owie, Mommy!!"


And then there's the, "Oh, poor Bridget... do you have a sore paw?"

Of course, if you don't make any mention of it, she runs around as if it's totally natural to have one foot in a blue bandage. It's not until someone says, "Oooooh, poor puppy!" or "Ohhhhh, poor Bridget!" that she then remembers and goes into "poor me" mode :) She is such a little diva actress!! :)

The other week, both Bridget and I had our headshots done by our friends, Mike and Lisa who are setting up their photography business for people in the Arts. So here are a couple of pics of my headshots, followed by a few darling ones of Bridget :)







And then there's Bridget.... she is a natural in front of the camera! Always has been and she played right up to Mike's camera :)











Hehehe... well, as you can probably see, the two of us had a fun afternoon with Mike and Lisa, out in the park having our pictures taken :)

Oh, and I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not in the last blog entry... but I've taken on the role of doing Publicity for Metro Theatre. I know, I know... I'm totally crazy!! :D I look at it two ways... 1) If I keep myself busy, then I'm just too damn busy to be sick. And in all fairness, I do feel like I have a lot of energy... certainly a lot more than when I was recovering from surgery and going through the 8 months of chemo. Now, I don't know if it's totally fair to Metro Theatre, not knowing when or if I'll have to go back on chemo and if I do, then how much can I actually do. BUT, no one knows when something might happen in their lives that disrupts their routines, family life, work life, etc. So I don't want to be sitting on pins and needles, not taking on any of the things I really enjoy, on the off chance I won't be able to do them. Since both theatres have been so supportive of me, I have decided to continue on and just go for it. And the 2) I'm in denial :) I know that I've been diagnosed with cancer and I know I've had a heck of a journey with it so far... but I refuse to believe that it is going to win. And if I am going to win, then I have to make plans for what I'm going to be doing with my present and future.

One of my all time daydreams has always been that IF I had enough money to live comfortably, the I would totally immerse myself in my passion for theatre. I would be involved during the day and evening... and in many capacities. I'd like to be involved with the administrative side, the box office and training of box office staff/volunteers on a ticket system using the computers, publicity, promotions, and basically promoting theatre and the arts. But the reality has always been that I couldn't be immersed in theatre because I needed to work at a job that would pay the bills and put some away for a rainy day :) Well, guess who is officially retiring Feb 1, 2010 (just in time for the 2010 Winter Olympics)? Lo and behold, my retirement pension will see me comfortable, financially... not wealthy but definitely comfortable. So, my daydream actually is about to come true!

Right now, I'm feeling perfectly fine! Other than the arthritis/joints (which will be ongoing), I feel great! Like I said above, I feel like I have more energy... and I can take on more than I have been doing. My next scan will be July 20th. On that day I'll be having my CEA blood work done, as well as a CAT scan of my lungs.... and then that same day will have an oncologist appt. to go over the CAT scan and blood work results. I have to be honest... leading up to that day and until I get the results, it will be nerve wracking. Even though I feel great, I won't be totally breathing a sigh of relief until we know that all is still status quo. If it is and there is very little to no growth, then I'll be free to relax for another 4 months :) So hey, even though it's not July yet, if you all could start sending those healing, positive thoughts out to the universe on my behalf, I would be forever grateful! Just send thank yous to the universe for keeping my lungs healthy... and the more grateful thoughts that go out, the more that will come back tenfold :)

Ok... I think this is plenty long enough, don't you?? LOL!! And I just know I've missed out on a whole lot of stuff. If I remember what, I'll be back :D :D

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

June 5th, 2009 -- I'm meltinnnnnggggg!

Heya Blogmates!

Ok, I'm going to start off this blog by stating I am NOT complaining about the heat wave Vancouver is going through right now, at the beginning of June. Personally, I much prefer being warm than cold and this winter we certainly had our periods of ice and snow. So not only was it cold out, but I learned very quickly that I can't walk in the snow or, definitely not on ice. So definitely, I prefer sun and hot and being able to walk outside without having to layer oneself in coats, vests, scarves, mittens, etc. Now, having said that... can I have one little wee complaint about the hot nights (and I'm talking purely temperature here!)?

As most of you know, I live right by the water. And what people who live by the water take for granted is, in the evening there USUALLY is a nice sea breeze off the water. This breeze in the evening is actually quite lovely... it's not a cold breeze, but a lovely cool breeze that stirs up the air and even sucks out the hot air in an apartment depending on which way it is blowing. Welllllll, we have still been getting the breeze most days, but it is the hottest breeze that I've really ever experienced here in BC. Granted, it is stirring the air around so we don't get that still, hot, heavy air around us, but it is not a refreshing breeze at all. And what is really bad... most buildings in our 'hood are cement buildings. So the sun is baking these buildings, the sidewalks, the roads, etc. all day long and when evening arrives and the temp drops a degree or two, there's no hope for the interior of the buildings. They just seem to get hotter and hotter. And before any of you are wondering why we just don't turn on our air conditioners, the reality is, most apartment/condo buildings here in Vancouver don't have A/C. There really is no need for it... normally speaking. This heat we are experiencing right now is usually something we can expect in the middle of the summer and only for a couple of days... so why have A/C when you only would use it for a couple of days of the year? Instead, I have a fan going 24/7 in the living room and another one in my bedroom and I just have to make do with the temps being around 28C (approx 84F) in the apartment at night... and even warmer during the day.

Ok... so enough of the whining about the weather but at the same time, being thrilled that summer has finally arrived :) There's always a trade off. We may be uncomfortably warm at night, but it really is gorgeous... one can take the dog for a little walk anywhere in the 'hood at midnight and it truly is gorgeous outside! And just look at the pretty sunsets we get. Here's one tonight at 9:15pm:

A lovely time of the evening... and like I say, soooo warm. I, unfortunately, can't go strolling like I could before the nerve/muscle damage from the chemo, but it's evenings like this that are perfect for walking along the seawall. Perfectly safe because there are hundreds of others with the same idea ;)

This next one is the same angle, but at 10pm. Now the lights on the bridge are on as well:



Ok... since I'm putting up pictures, I may as well continue and put up a few more. Last weekend, a bunch of us gathered at Naveen's for a "the rhodedendrums are in blossom so this is a good excuse for a party", so we had a Rhodie Party :) I consider the people in the following pictures to all be my extended family. We are not related by blood, but we are all so close and they are all extremely supportive of me. I have no idea how I got so lucky in this life to have these folk be a huge part of my life... as well, I have the most incredible friends in the world. Chances are, if you are reading this blog, you fall into this category. And for any of you who were at my Celebration of Life and Friendship party back in October, you would have met some of the people I'm talking about. Ok... more pictures before I get to sentimental and mushy ;)

A couple of these pictures of single blossoms, I'm posting them here to show how gorgeous the rhodies are, but also, how wonderful my camera works with really showing the detail. Isn't the pink in this particular blossom stunning?

Likewise with this one... I just love the pink rhodies and am planning on playing with these various flower pics and turning them into B&W photos, then adding a touch of the stunning colour back.

I think out of the three pink Rhodie pics, this is my favourite ;)

Here are three of my favourite girls... Natalia, Jaime and Juliet. Natalia and Juliet are Troy and Inga's daughters, Jaime is Shel and Jill's daughter. In the next picture, there will be the group of us, but we are missing Troy who could not be at the party since he was down in Virginia.

Ok, this is not a good quality picture... I'm not sure why the camera took a weird picture. It's like it wasn't adjusting well in the artificial light. But this group of people are my extended family -- starting with me with Juliet on my lap and going from left to right -- Me/Juliet, Janet (Inga's Mom and grandma to Juliet and Natalia), Fergus (Janet's nephew who was visiting from Australia), Jaime sitting on her dad, Shel's lap, Naveen, Inga, Natalia, Jill and Stefan. Missing is Troy who was in Virginia and Shelley who is taking the picture ;)

Hahaha... I know, I know... why take a picture of a bowl of berries? I couldn't get over the colour of a huge salad bowl of fresh berries (strawberries, blueberries and blackberries). Just looking at them, it made you want to dive into them... all of a sudden you get this craving for them! Naveen made this bowl and I can't imagine how long he must have been slicing all those strawberries. But it was unbelievably delicious to eat these berries with a scoop or two of vanilla ice cream!

Ok... enough with the pictures for now. It's 1:44am, so time to head to the bedroom and see if I can fall asleep in the heat ;)

I have so much more to yak about... but, I will have to leave that all for now. Maybe this weekend I'll be able to write some more, depending on how much I'm at home. LOL!! It seems I'm always on the go, with Bridget coming with me, only to curl up and sleep wherever we go, as long as we have a little bed for her to curl up in ;)

Hahaha... I did think tomorrow was Saturday, but when I looked at my calendar I realized "oh oh... good thing you looked at the calendar!!" Tomorrow afternoon I'll be at TUTS and I'll be staying through the evening because Live Nations is doing a concert on our stage. Blue Rodeo will be playing Friday and Saturday night. I'm only going to be working the Friday night show... where we will be handing out our TUTS information rack cards to the audience as they leave. Our rack cards are double sided, with information about Annie on one side and information about Thoroughly Modern Millie on the other side. Oh, what the heck... here are the images for the rack cards (I LOVE them and it's a new look for our advertising this year):

Is this little raccoon not just the most adorable little critter, wearing the lopsided Annie red hair'd wig?

And, of course, here is the other side of the card, which is the info for Thoroughly Modern Millie. Both shows are going to be absolutely fabulous this year so if anyone is within driving distance to downtown Vancouver, you will want to catch BOTH shows!!

And since I have her picture handy on my computer, here is little Michelle who will be playing the role of Annie:

Isn't she a cutie?? And she has a voice and look that should tear at everyone in the audience's heartstrings ;)

Ok... I must go to bed... it is 2am and tomorrow is going to be a fun, but LONG day. I still haven't decided if I'm going to take Bridget tomorrow since there is the concert and it might get loud, inside and outside of the office. I may just leave her at home and Toby can feed her after they go on their late afternoon walk. I'll decide in the morning.

Ciao for now... and if I don't get back to the blog on the weekend.. have a great weekend!!

Hugggggs,

Cheryl

PS: I forgot to mention... I love the comments some of you leave! I can't actually answer them, here on the blog, short of just answering them in a post or writing my own comment. So I keep them in my inbox when they are sent to me in email, with the intention of responding to them. Hahaha... but we don't even want to talk about the 2500 emails in my inbox that I thought I would get to at one point . So keep those comments coming!! And know that I see and enjoy every single one of them!

May 21, 2009 - Gorgeous Weather!

Hiya Bloggy!

Ok... I dare anyone to complain about the weather over the next couple of days or longer! It is gorgeous these days and the long range ... ok, 7 day forecast is for sun, sun and more sun!! Yippeee!

Now, you may be sitting back, pouring yourself a coffee and settling in for a long blog entry. Ha!! Well, it won't be this one :) I realized that the last blog entry was 10 days ago, so I wanted to touch base with everyone to let you know that all is going well. But since it is 11:30pm, it's time for me to crawl into bed with my little diva schnauzer who has already taken over my side of the bed ;)

No real news to report. I'm feeling great today... although, for the past week I was wondering what was up. I felt lethargic and low on energy... but the biggie was I had no appetite. It's not that nothing taste good... I just wasn't hungry. And then on Tues night I seemed to have this dry cough... which got me very paranoid. Every time I see my oncologist, she always asks if I'm having any issues with breathing (answer is always no) and then she asks, "Do you have a dry cough at all?" Again, the answer is always no. But Monday night... ack! A dry cough. And then when I thought of it... why did I have no appetite? The last time I had no appetite was just prior to being diagnosed!! So yes, I was freaking out a bit.

So Wed morning I went to see my GP. I told him that I probably was being paranoid, but it was freaking me out... so he did a thorough check of my lungs and pronounced me just fine. The lungs are healthy, no sign of any fluid on them and no signs of any rattle. He said my skin tone is totally healthy and normal looking... and my eyes are looking just fine. I then told him about the lack of appetite for 6 days and how I had hardly eaten a thing, not because I felt sick... I just wasn't hungry. Well, so much for the starvation diet... I hopped on the scales and I didn't lose even one measly pound in 6 days. Seriously, I was eating next to nothing... a piece of toast in the morning and maybe a half pear or banana in the evening. And for that... I lost nothing!! ::: SCREAM :::

Anywho... once he declared that I was not suffering from anything serious, I left his office feeling a whole lot better!! Today, I had my energy back and although I'm not really showing any serious hunger pangs, my appetite has definitely come back.

Ok... hopefully next blog report I'll have more to report... but all is going really well and I'm busier than ever as we get closer and closer to the summer shows!!

Nighty Nite!!

Cheryl

Monday, May 11th, 2009 - A short one? :)

Hey Bloggymates!

Yes, you heard it hear... this is going to be a short blog entry! Not because I lead a short and boring life... no siree, bob! I've been soooo busy that I seriously haven't had time to keep up the blog entries to yak about all that's been taking up my time. But suffice it to say, I've been busy in a good way and now I'm seriously thinking of actually scheduling some "down" time in my calendar... think I'll be successful?

Anywho.... it's a rainy Monday morning (gee, isn't there a song about that?? Rainy Days and Mondays?? Carpenters??) and it's really quite amazing. My mind is awake and ready to go... my body, well, it's quite a bit slower than the mind ;) But, today Bridget and I will be going to the TUTS office to do some hours there. Actually this week I am splitting my time between doing work for TUTS and doing work for Metro Theatre... AND starting the June 1st issue of the Community Theatre eNewsletter. The eNewsletter is definitely a pet project of mine. It started being an eNewsletter about Metro Theatre, but trying to fill a whole newsletter about one theatre when it's hard to get content... I expanded the concept of the eNewsletter. It is now a electronic newsletter about what's happening in the Community Theatre scene in Vancouver and the Lower Mainland... and sponsored by Metro Theatre. So all in all, everyone wins! So hey... if any of you out there belong to a community theatre group, or theatre co-op, etc.... send me your news! Deadline for the June 1st issue is May 15th... which is coming up pretty quickly :)

Oh... and another new exciting thing in my life... I decided to buy myself a pre-retirement gift (grin)! I got myself a new camera... the brand new Pentax X70 with a 24 optical zoom lens. It is unbelievable... the quality and sharpness of the pictures compared to any camera I've had before. I also ordered (via eBay) a spare battery for it... for $9.99, includes shipping from Hong Kong, and sure enough, the battery arrived in my mailbox within 10 days of ordering it. It doesn't get any easier than that!!

Anywho... you know I will be bombarding everyone here with pictures... and I'm planning on getting into my photography a little more seriously than before. But just to show some of the incredible detail this camera picks up...check out these pictures. Yes they are flowers, but the colour and sharpness is quite amazing!

There's my poor lonely car, sitting all by itself... in the land of paradise :)


This is the door to our TUTS office. The weather lately (until today) has been quite lovely! But check out the colour in this picture... the tulips vs the greenery.

Is the yellow in these pansies not incredibly rich?? These are starting to be one of my favourite flowers. They come in so many colours, but these yellow ones are particularly brilliant.

This is one of my favourites. For starters, pink is my favourite colour and these pink tulips were such a brilliant pink!! But aren't they all just gorgeous???

Ok... the pictures made this entry longer than a short post :) Right now, I have got to get my butt out of the computer chair, get dressed, throw together some lunch and veggie snacks for Bridget and we are heading to the office (the one in the picture above) :)

Tomorrow is Election day here in BC! So, Bridget and I will hobble down the street to the Best Western Sands Hotel where our voting station will be. I'm not sure why it's not at the school where it usually is, but what the heck... it's still close by :) Bridget will come with me unless I decide to treat myself to breakfast...in which case she will stay home ;)

Anywho... I'm in practice mode for retirement and guess what?? I LIKE IT!! More so, I LOVE it!! I have no idea why some people hate retirement and are bored. Are you kidding??? If anything I still complain that there isn't enough time in the day to do everything I want to do!! Health-wise, I think I'm feeling and doing great!! My next CAT scan is July 20th. That's when I'll also have blood work done to measure my CEA, get the CAT scan done for the lungs and then meet with my oncologist. She will check how the nodules on my lungs are doing and if my CEA is normal... if that's the case, then I'll get another 4 months of freedom before the next CAT scan :) So even though July 20 is still a ways away... keep sending those positive thoughts that the nodules are nothing! No growth, no activity... or if you can send out the thoughts that the nodules just shrink and go away, that would be even better :)

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

Saturday, April 25, 2009 - Retirement Options!

Hello Blogey-mates!!

I was reminded today that the last blog entry I have done was April 11th! WOW! I could have sworn it was just the other day that I had reported about poor little Bridget's dental woes but I actually reported about them 2 weeks ago?? Unbelievable how time just whizzes by!!

Well, I'm happy to report that Miss Bridget is doing just fine. I don't think she has any traumatic memories about her dental adventure at all. Of course, she was put under anesthesia for the procedure so it's no as if she knows who did what to her. For that matter, she has no idea that anyone did anything to her. If anything, she might remember that her mouth hurt, but highly doubtful she even thinks of that now since it is all better and there's no pain or infection. She's even been back to see Dr. Joan and the clinic and had no problems with that until she had to be put up on the slippery table... she doesn't like that table at all because her feet slip on it ;)

She also has been to the groomers yesterday. Hehehe... well, I'm on to her tricks now! Toby, who normally takes her for her morning walks, took her up to the groomers. Bridget did a little bit of a "don't leave me" dance, but nothing like she does when I drop her off. Likewise, when Toby picked her up (I was at the hairdresser's myself when Bridget was ready), she didn't get near the greeting that I get. You know the one... "Ohhhhh Mom!! How could you leave me here!! They beat me, starved me and chained me up as soon as you left this morning!!" Uh, right... this is the message she would like me to believe even though she is put in a crate, with a blanket and with the door left open should she want to come out and socialize with the other dogs ;) The groomer gets a big chuckle out of Bridget's shenanigans and he told Toby that Bridget is the most well-behaved schnauzer when it comes to grooming. But as soon as her "people" come to pick her up, she does the big production number! She is such a little diva/actress!! :)

Anywho... all is going well in my world. Of course, there won't be anything to report as far as the lungs go until July 20th which is when I next go in for a CAT scan, bloodwork and then see my oncologist. That scan/bloodwork is to do a check of the lungs to see if any of the 11 nodules have grown at all and if so, how much.

Let's see... I did see my GP last week. My biggest complaint is a combination of the arthritis joint pain and just general overall pain that comes and goes but is always somewhere. I have been diagnosed with CPS (Chronic Pain Syndrome). This is caused by a few different things but the two most common are if you have had a trauma/wound, or cancer treatments. CPS will show up months after, which is why it is hard to diagnose and once it has shown up, it isn't actually diagnosed until you've had the chronic pain for at least 6 months. Well, I've had the arthritis prior to knowing about the cancer, so that isn't new... but the other pain in and around joints, or the area between one joint and another... that has basically surfaced in the last 9 - 12 months. Unfortunately, the majority of the causes for this chronic pain is nerve damage. I haven't really had any trauma that I can think of, except for the surgeries... but definitely, we know I've been bombarded with chemo, when I was getting the treatments for 8 months.

So, we are trying two different kinds of meds to see if we can short-circuit the messages from nerves to the brain that say "Pain". I have been on Gabapentin ever since the Oxipilatin chemo did the nerve damage to my feet and heels. That med, combined with the pain med Tramadol, hopefully will calm the pain down. So far, it is doing an ok job with most areas that I've noticed, but alas, it is not touching the pain in the lower back. So, we shall give it some more time before we try something else.

Meanwhile... the big news this week is I went to a "BC Public Service Pension Seminar" with a co-worker of mine. I have been to one or two of these in the past but since I was not close to retiring, they really didn't mean too much to me. But this time, it was a real eye-opener for me! I was actually thinking that I probably wouldn't be officially retiring, but would be staying on Long Term Disability insurance... mainly because, not having any idea what the future is going to bring, I wanted to make sure that I would be covered with my Medical Services Plan (MSP), my Dental Plan, and my Extended Health Coverage (prescriptions, chiropractor, acupuncture, glasses, etc).

So, as long as the doctors say I'm not able to go back to work, then it seemed that staying on Long Term Disability was the answer. From a financial perspective, with Long Term Disability, I get about 69% of my salary. No matter where my income comes from, I'm only entitled to the equivalent of 69% of my salary. Of course, the insurance company wants me to apply for anything else that I might be entitled to so that they can then deduct that from what they pay, with the end result being all totaled, my income would still equal 69%/salary. I also get CPP Disability which is $1053/month... which is fine, but it gets deducted from my LTD, so I get two deposits to my bank account every month... the CPP Disability and the LTD.

Well, what we found out at the Pension seminar - since I have my 35 years of service, I am entitled to a full pension. A full pension with the provincial government is 70% of your average top 5 years salary. Ok... so that is pretty much the same as my LTD payments. BUT, and this is a big BUT... since I am eligible for CPP Disability, I would be able to have that payment as well as my retirement pension. So I would have 70% of my salary PLUS the $1053/month CPP Disability pension. The CPP Disability is valid until I turn 65 yrs old, in which case it changes to regular CPP (Canada Public Pension). So, the long and short of it, I would end up being on retirement pension, getting $1053 more than my co-workers who might have 35 years and retiring ;)

Ok, so the next biggie is medical, dental and Extended Health insurance. Another eye opener... if I retire, Extended Health is part of the retirement package. I would have to pay my own MSP and Dental, but as a "retiree" I get them at subsidized rates. My medical insurance would cost $18/month and my dental insurance (where I'd be getting the same coverage I have as an employee) would cost $40/month.

Sooooo... it's a no-brainer!! For $58/month in insurance expenses, I will actually see $1600/month MORE than what I'm seeing/getting now (ok, $1600-$58=$1542 more per month)

Hahaha, now I have to start the paperwork! My official "early" retirement date is Feb 1, 2010. I already have my 35 years of service, but the earliest one can retire from the provincial government is at age 55. I will be 55 on Jan 7, 2010, so retirement starts on the 1st of the month following your birth month.

It all seems so surreal! Imagine that... I'm actually eligible to RETIRE!! To become a retiree!! All my working life, I have stayed with the provincial government, even though I was tempted on numerous occasions to try something different. For years, I really did want to work in the film industry, which had a booming period here in Vancouver in the 80s/90s... but no, I stayed where I was. I then thought it would be exciting to move to a different province, or even to get my green card and move down to the States and just experience working in another country. But I didn't. Then I really was tempted to move to Japan to teach English. I had a couple of friends who did that and they really enjoyed the work and the experience. But alas, I didn't do that either. In hindsight, I could kick myself for not following some of my dreams... on the other hand, it's actually payback time now. Not too many of my friends can say they are in a job that offers a company pension, let alone, do they have the maximum years of service to make them eligible for early retirement. Freedom 55!!

There is something to be said for the feeling of relief to know that you are going to have income for life, especially when you are in a situation such as mine where your #1 job is to look after your health and get on the road to recovery. Statistics are against someone with Stage IV colon cancer, but then I am not a normal Statistic. I have the luxury of having medical insurance AND being able to retire at 55 with the luxury of a decent pension! So I am one very happy and relieved camper this week and will be for some time to come :)

Well, that certainly is a mouthful of babble, now isn't it?? I have been keeping myself busy by spending afternoons down at the TUTS office. Yikes! I can't believe that both shows start rehearsals in May and we are getting closer and closer to production. That means summer is just around the corner and yes, it better start getting warmer soon because I plan on spending my summer down at the park :)

Okey dokey... it's now just after midnight! Time to sign off and once again, I will try and be a little better at putting up entries a little more consistently... and more often :)

Huggggggs,

Cheryl

Saturday, April 11, 2009 -- It's a Dog On Worry :)

Hey all you Easter Blogees :)

Hope you all are having a wonderful long weekend that is full of chocolate and pretty, dyed eggs :) Me... I'm trying to avoid the temptations of chocolate because, no matter how much I could come up with reasons for justifying it, the fact remains I don't need to smack more chocolate on the hips and that is where it goes directly to :)

Well, this has definitely been a somewhat traumatic and expensive week... all because of my little darling, diva, Bridget. I still can't get over the fact that she is such a stoic little terrier. The fact her little mouth was in trouble, she never once uttered any sounds or gave any clue that she was in pain. Mind you, Dr. Joan did explain to me today when we went out for lunch that it's quite possible it all happened quite quickly... but still. I thought I knew her every little change and assumed that if she was ever in any kind of discomfort, then I would certainly know about it. So it comes as a huge shock that I did not recognize the discomfort she was in... she is a great little actress that little schnauzer of mine!

So, the long and short of it, I took her in last Monday knowing that she had to have at least 1 or 2 teeth pulled and that she had an inflamed section of her gum. So while she was going to be under anesthesia to have the 1 or 2 teeth taken out, Dr. Joan would also be able to give the teeth a good cleaning. Well, the second shock hit once she was under the anesthesia. Her mouth was actually quite a mess... she had to have EIGHT teeth extracted, a couple of them were very tricky to get out. But they were so loose and you can't leave loose teeth because they cause infection. Just like in people, infection is not something you want to play around with ... it can turn septic very quickly. So the poor darling had 8 teeth extracted on Monday. This is not the first time she has had to have teeth taken out. Unfortunately, this is one of the bad traits of the schnauzer breed... weak teeth. Over the 11 years I have had her, the first time we had to take out 2 teeth because of a run in with a German Shepherd who bit her on her mouth and broke two teeth. Another time, she had to have 4 teeth taken out because they were loose. And then there was the time when she had an abscess... and two teeth had to come out at that time. Now 8 of them, including the teeth at the front on the bottom. Joan said, unfortunately, there were some more that probably should have come out but she figured 8 were more than enough for this session... but we may be looking at more next year :/

Anywho... it was heart breaking when I went to pick her up. Her little tail was going a mile a minute when she saw her mommy was back, but between the anesthesia and the shot of pain medication, she was a little disoriented and confused... so was giving these cries that sounded human. She, who is usually a little Miss Independent, turned into a total Mommy's Girl. She was like a velcro dog... hanging on to me for dear life. She did NOT want me to leave again without taking her with me. Mind you, it was interesting... when we put her in the car on her bed, she stopped crying immediately. She knows her car and her bed in the car and this is a safe place... it means she is not going to be left behind.

We then went home and you could almost see her breathing easier once she was at home. But, I guess we had been home about 2 hours or so and she was lying on her pillow on the couch when she started the crying again. It wasn't howling, but this pitiful, heart breaking cry. I figured the pain medicine was probably wearing off so Joan had given me pain meds to take home with me. Now, the question was how to get her to take the pill when 1) it's a pill and 2) her mouth is sore. No problem... I made a tiny cheese ball with the pill in the middle and sure enough, she ate it with no problems. Within about 20 mins. she was off in la-la-land... but still crying a bit in her sleep.

When I put her in bed and climbed in with her with my book... that did the trick. Now she felt safe... she was in bed with her mommy... and that's all she needed. She crashed at that point and slept the whole night. So, this week she's been on antibiotics and the pain meds... and soft food. But her appetite is good and her energy is good, so all is good! Today (Sat) was the first day where she had no pain meds and did just fine :) She will be on antibiotics until Thursday... and will be going in for her followup appt. on Tuesday morning.

Meanwhile, Dr. Joan and I went out for lunch today, so after lunch, Joan popped in to the apartment just to have a quick look at Bridget... and she is very happy with how well she's doing. Her mouth is healing great.

Soooo, that has been our week. It's definitely been all about Bridget. That little dog of mine has been with me through thick and thin, so to have the shoe on the other foot and know that she is in pain and needed some heavy duty work done to her poor little mouth, well, that was pretty scary. Then to add to that, she had a very deep cough, caused by the breathing tube irritating her throat. That kind of freaked me out since it sounded really bad. And it lasted Mon - Thurs night... but by Friday, it had magically cleared up. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to change her pain meds to a different pain med with a cough suppressant... but luckily the cough disappeared Thurs night, so no need for anymore medication :)

I'm feeling MUCH better knowing that she is doing ok now. Today is my friend, Steve's birthday, so tomorrow we are all heading out to his parents' out in Maple Ridge for a combination Birthday/Easter celebration. It will be quite chaotic there with lots of people so Bridget is going to stay home with Toby who lives across the hall. There is no way I'm going to get her all stressed out with lots of people, children, dogs, etc. when she has just gotten over the trauma of this week ;)

But, it should be fun... and all the good intentions I had of catching up on some web work and EMAILS (sorry folk, I'm still so far behind in email!!)... well, those didn't quite happen, but hey, I did get a load of laundry done!! LOL!!

Hugggggs,

Cheryl

Saturday, April 4th, 2009 -- Procrastination??

Hiya Blog-mates!!

I can't believe how much of a procrastinator I am when it comes to adding blog entries!! Seriously... it just doesn't make sense! I love to write, I love to babble and when the subject is "all about ME", then I can babble every day, on and on ad nauseum, and it wouldn't be surprising to have pages and pages and still not say anything :) Of course, sometimes I guess it's a matter of wondering... am I writing just to hear myself speak or am I writing to have a record of this amazing journey I seem to be on, or am I writing to keep all my family and friends informed so that I'm not having to constantly repeat the same information over and over again? I'm sure it's a combination of all three, although it would be kind of nice to know if anyone is actually reading my ramblings or if I'm just talking to myself for the most part. Hahaha... ok, let's take a survey... if you are reading this, then at the end of today's rambling, there is a little envelope with the word "Comment" beside it. Please feel free to click that, add a comment (and make sure you sign it otherwise it comes back as "Anonymous" so I have no idea who you are ) and make sure you include the initial of your last name because if you just sign it "Steve", I don't know which Steve you are!! Hahahaha!!

Ok... enough about that ramble... let me catch you up on the latest medical adventure. I was at the radiologist last week for the followup CAT scan and appt. with regards to the lung ablation I had back in January. There was nothing new to report about that followup appt. since it went how it should. All is looking good and the ablated area is healing as it should. I literally had the CAT scan done and then I met with him so he only had a few minutes to look at the scan and his focus was on the ablation and how that area was doing... he did not have time to look at each layer/slice of the scan to check on the other nodules/tumours in the lungs.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my oncologist and with one of the interns. As is the procedure at the BC Cancer Agency, the intern sees the patient first, followed by the actual appt. with your own oncologist. Last year, I did have some issues with some of the interns. I realize and understand that they do have to do practicum at some point with real patients, but seriously... some of them are severely lacking in basic Patient Compassion Skill and should take a course in how to communicate with patients with at least the basics in compassion. At one point I even said, "No more interns!! I only want to talk with my oncologist from now on". So while we were going through all the stuff/tests/appts. when we found out the cancer had spread, I no longer had any pre-appt visits with the interns. But once things calmed down, I allowed it again.

Well, yesterday's intern (I wish I could remember his name) was absolutely fantastic!! He is going to make one great oncologist ... heck, he is already!! We had a nice long visit and he explained a lot of things that I sort of knew before but not with such great detail. And he did it in such a very friendly, compassionate way that I told Sharlene (my oncologist) I wouldn't mind having him be the intern on every visit.

Ok... so it was a GOOD NEWS appt. that still had surprising results that I wasn't prepared for. I think I have said on numerous blog entries in the past that when they found the lung nodule on that first PET scan, we then had a CAT scan and there were 7 nodules all together. I have stuck with that number and not thought of the possibility there were more, although I did know all the doctors said more can show up at any time... that's the nature of the beast. What I didn't know is that when they do a CAT scan, it's actually a scan done in "layers" or "slices". So think of it as a whole picture say done in 10 slices, 5mm a slice (these are just fictitious numbers... I have no idea how many slices... I think there are many, many more). If you have a nodule that is under 5mm, and it's between the slices... then it's quite possible that the radiologist will not see it. Well, Dr. Halkier (the interventional radiologist) who did my lung ablation, went through the latest CAT scan with a fine tooth comb and he has actually come up with ELEVEN small nodules... and according to his report, these are all very small nodules (the largest is 7-8mm, the rest are under 5mm). Most are too small to even show up on a PET scan. Needless to say, he can not ablate any more of them because they are too small and his criteria is that they have to be affecting the patient's quality of life... whereas I am totally asymptomatic, with no signs of any breathing problems, etc.

My oncologist says that I am one of the lucky ones... since these nodules are so small, there is no way of telling if some of them are scar tissue, benign growths or cancer. Statistically speaking, the majority SHOULD be cancer, but no one can say for sure until they start growing. The one that was ablated WAS cancer, there's no question there, so we do know that some of these 11 are too... we just don't know which ones or how many. But, they are all too small to ablate and they are too small to do any kind of chemo. They would be resistant to chemo because the purpose of chemo is to try and shrink them to the size they are now, and slow down the growth. Well, mine are already slow growing and we don't even know if/when they will grow... so Sharlene wants to keep me off chemo for as long as possible... the longer the better.

So this is the good news... in the medical world, it is pretty incredible that I have these nodules in my lungs and have not had to have any chemo treatment for 17 months. Our next CAT scan will be in 4 months, so that means I will have been chemo-free for 21 months. Back at the time when we had found out that the cancer had spread to the adrenal gland and the lung, it was a very, very serious prognosis. I was given the "Your prognosis is more than likely 2 months - maximum 2 years, although that's pushing it" talk. As some of you will remember, that was a year ago... and I was absolutely terrified. Terrified like I have never been in my life, and I've had some close calls before... but this one is the worst.

Now, she says that we aren't even going to talk treatment ... and if any of these nodules decide to grow on their own, then we will deal with them as get larger. We have various chemo combos that we can try, as well, lung ablation may always be an option. I had asked about a chemo combination that I had read about and she said that she doesn't want me to even think about chemos... we can think about those when we need them, but for now, I am chemo-free and my job is to let my body heal from what it has been put through. She said that I really got a beating up when we were fighting it so aggressively with the 8 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation... and it's going to take some time for my body to heal it's internal wounds. So she wants me to stay off chemo unless we absolutely need to use it... and that won't happen until the nodules start getting larger.

Before anyone suggests it... no, the cancer will not disappear. Stage IV is the label for "advanced cancer"... and it won't magically disappear. BUT, medicine and research have made huge leaps and bounds and it's possible that we might be able to treat it so that I am "living with cancer" rather than "dying from cancer"... and again, sometimes it's just the luck of the draw. Someone else could be diagnosed with the exact same cancer and have the exact same surgery and procedures done that I had when it was found... and yet their's grows so quickly there's no being able to treat it... and that's when you hear of people having just found out they have cancer and then they die within weeks. Had my surgeon at St. Paul's NOT insisted on doing a sigmoidoscopy before sending me off with antibiotics for the diagnosis of "Diverticulitis - inflammation of the intestine", I would have been dead within 2 months of the surgery he did. Talk about almost not getting it in time!

I look back on this journey I've had so far... filled with highs and lows, but I count my lucky stars and all the positive energy that has been directed my way and realize just how fragile our lives are. And when we are given a second chance... or at least a chance to be on this planet longer than we might have been, then it really does become important to enjoy every single moment we are here. It sounds like a cliche, but it took this journey for me to wake up and realize.. it's NOT a cliche... I was so intent on how I was going to pay bills, put away for retirement, put away for future trips, waiting until "later" to do the things I really wanted to try, that I had no idea I was letting the here and now slip by and not even being aware of it, let alone enjoy it!!

So when folk say, "Sheesh, Cheryl... don't you ever slow down? You are such a social butterfly, always here, there and everywhere", I can only laugh and say, "It's about time!! I'm having the time of my life and I'm not about to waste any more time saying, "I'll enjoy that later, when I have time!" :D

Huggggggs to everyone out there!! Sign in on the comments field and leave your mark (chuckle)

Cheryl