Saturday, March 19th, 2011 - The ongoing catch up :)

Helloooooo Bloggies!

Yep, it's me back in the blog. I have to confess, I did have to go back to the last entry to see what I wrote and where I left off :) Chemo Fog aka Chemo Brain (not to be confused with Blog Fog)... plays havoc with one's memory! So, it appears that the last entry went into quite some detail about the first round of this new chemo. Still makes me shudder and cringe when I think of the rough time I had with that! Suffice it to say, the second round, went much, MUCH better. Still, not a walk in the park and not something I would choose to do for the fun of it... but compared to Chemo #1, Chemo #2 was much more manageable. The side affects I did get were just not fun... but not deadly like the first round. That is because we are now on half-doses of the chemo and I go in every 2 weeks instead of every 3 weeks... so I end up getting the same amount but spread over more time. Phew! I had Chemo #3 this week, on Tuesday and Tues - Thurs was excellent! No side affects at all! But then the Chemo Fatigue hit on Fri and today (Saturday), which is to be expected. I'm hoping that the fatigue only stays around for 2-3 days maximum... because then that means starting Monday I can build up my energy again before we have to do this again on the following Monday.

But... there is good news that goes with all this chemo nonsense! Some of you know, or have heard me talking about the term CEA. This is just a blood test that they do and for some people, it is a very good tool to help with understanding what's going on. Unfortunately, it doesn't work with everyone, so it's not the be all and end all of tests. I've been very lucky so far in that it's been a very good indicator for me. When everything is stable and there's nothing going on with the cancer nodules in the lungs, my CEA reading hovers around 1.0 - 2.0. But when there's any activity, the CEA readings start to rise. Because it's always been a good indicator for me, when/if it starts to rise, even if it's only rising a small amount, that puts my oncologist on guard and we start doing other tests to see WHY it's starting to rise. The numbers aren't really important... what is important is if the trend is that it's just going up, up, up. Obviously, we want it to come down and stay down. Well, it was going up, so that is why starting chemo. After that horrible first round, which I thought for sure if it was making me that sick, it had to be killing off the cancer too... so you can imagine my disappointment when, the CEA results after the first round went up even higher... to 25.0!! YIKES! Tumours on the loose!?!?! Now we were going to go to half doses? Yes, I was more than a bit concerned, I have to admit.

Well, had to have the blood tests again before I went on Chemo #3. I have to have the blood tests done before EVERY chemo treatment because they need to know how my WBC (White Blood Cells) count is doing. Every time you get chemo, it kills off good cells as well as the bad cells... pretty much kills everything in it's path and since it's systemic, it goes through my whole system (blood, lymph, arteries, veins... everywhere) killing off whatever it can. That is why I have two weeks between treatments... so that the good cells that have been killed off can regenerate, and the bad (cancer) cells that are killed don't regenerate because dead cancer cells can't be brought back to life. So, before they hit me with another round of chemo, they have to check my good blood cells and make sure the counts are up high enough that I am ready to take on another round. When they do that blood work, they also take blood to do the CEA test. Sooooo.... drum roll please.... I had my CEA test done last Monday (before Tuesday's Chemo) and YAYAYAYAYA!! The reading was 15.0!!! In one treatment, it came down 10.0 whole points!!! Well, it may be a combination of the three treatments, but suffice it to say, between tests it came down 10 points which is excellent! What this means is, the chemo is working... obviously it is killing of cancer cells so that hopefully, it has stopped the nodules in my lungs from growing, and if we are really, really lucky, the nodules will now start shrinking. The goal here is... to obviously stop any growth, to stop any new growth, and to shrink any tumours that are already there. The first CT scan that I will be getting will be 3 months after starting this chemo... which will be sometime in mid-May. So I am really keeping my fingers crossed that all these chemo treatments that I will have been taking will show some real shrinkage and change come mid-May :)

Ok... so that's enough about the catch up on Cheryl's health journey! Let's see what else is in Cheryl's world? Oh, I forgot to include a picture in the last blog entry. This goes back to mid-Feb sometime, when 2 friends (Mark and David) and I went to a movie and then out for Chinese food afterwards. Always fun to have a movie/dinner night with friends, but what was different about this is... mid-February in Vancouver, cherry blossoms are thinking of popping out on the trees, daffodil shoots have come up from the ground, and yes the crocuses are up here and there.... AND... we get SNOW??? Hello??? It was snowing on us!!

Left to right: Mark, Cheryl and David in the snow :) I have no idea what was up with the hair... I left the apartment and I had bangs... where they are now is anyone's guess :)

Oh.... and have I mentioned how I love flowers? Be them plants outside in the garden, or indoor plants that blossom, or flowers sent just because someone is thinking of me... I am thrilled with them all! Well, my aunt Cathe sent me this gorgeous plant that is a tropical plant that thrives in Hawaii --

Hehe... ok, I did try to crop out the background since it's on my kitchen table that happened to have a lot of clutter around it the day I took this picture. But it is gorgeous and I just love it!

Ok... moving on... what have I been up to while being home an awful lot of the time. Well, it's kind of twofold in a way. Yes, I must admit that I tend to stick around home a lot more than I used to... back in the days when I was all over the place. Working out of the TUTS office, doing Publicity/website/eNewsletter for Metro, and taking in as many shows as possible because I just love what everyone is doing in theatre these days. Vancouver is so wealthy in creative talent... if ONLY we had a bit more support from both the public and the government. I don't mean just theatre (although that is one of the arts I hold near and dear to my heart) but everything from theatre, dance, music, art, web design, any kind of video/online design... because whether people think the electronic age is just a phase and this too shall pass... I'm afraid that's not the case. If anything, our world is going to go more and more digital, entertainment is going to go more and more digital... and combining the traditional arts with the new digital world is going to be huge and we have the talent here... underpaid and under appreciated, but they are here!

Ok... where the heck did that come from and why was I bringing it up??? Hmmm... there was a reason... but alas, it has slipped into the fog . Oh well, it was going to be a brilliant statement... hold that thought until I have another brilliant one :D

Moving on... film. Hmmm... I'm sure the above had something to do with this next topic, but I have no idea what the connection was going to be. Oh well. A couple of weeks ago, I was at the opening night of a brilliant little show called "The Story Of My Life", a 2-man show, that was done soooo well by two wonderful actors, Stephen Aberle and Jonathan Holmes. I love going to shows like this where I don't really know what I'm going to see, but am going because of friends that are involved and of course, I want to support all my friends. Well, this show was being held at the Revue Stage on Granville Island. When I got there, lucky me found a parking spot right beside the theatre (unheard of)... but when I got out of the car, it was basic chaos ;) There was movie equipment EVERYWHERE! Not just your regular run of the mill movie, which we are used to in Vancouver, since someone is filming somewhere at any given time... but this was obviously a major, major film company, because they had not only taken over the Granville Island Public Market (outside at the back), but the two bridges (Granville and Burrard) as well. Well, sure enough... the movie was Mission Impossible 4. Those aren't my kind of movies but even I know they spend a heck of alot of money on them and since they are on the 4th one, it has basically become a Tom Cruise franchaise!

The following are pictures I took before and after the show that I was there to see. Yes, Tom Cruise was there on set, but no, I didn't get any pics of him. As far as I was concerned, you'd never really see him because he was surrounded by so many people. What I found MORE interesting was... this was an outdoor shoot, at night... and how much lighting equipment they had to light up the area they were shooting in. I mean, the area they used was just a small area outside at the back of the market. BUT, across the water were the buildings and of course, the two bridges... so since these were obviously in the shots, they had them all brightly lit up!! Hahaha... imagine if this was your condo and you are now ready to go to bed... but your windows and condo is lit up with bright movie lights shining in!! So the following pics are the ones I took where I was fascinated that there was so much light for what is probably a couple of seconds of film...

You can see the dock at the market where the "set" is... with one of the huge lights on a crane, and Burrard St. Bridge in the background. I am standing just outside the Arts Club Backstage Lounge door.

Papparazzi... and people trying to catch a glimpse of Tom Cruise (and people just walking around Granville Island checking out what's going on).

See what I mean about equipment everywhere? To the right of the white screen is the front door to the Revue Stage, so to get to the show, you had to climb around equipment. I'm not sure what light this screen was being used to bounce because the action is around the corner of this building and all the way across the dock. YET... 4 of us were talking right at the spot after the show, in normal voices, and one of the PAs came over and asked if we could keep it down since we were being picked up on the mics. Mics?? Where? What mics?? They weren't filming here, but obviously had the whole area wired for sound.

Here's a good example of what I meant about the buildings being lit up at night. Notice the bridge on he right, which is also lit up (and you can see one of the big movie lights on top of the bridge). Now imagine living in one of these condos :) This picture was taken, probably around 11pm at night :)

So striking! I have to admit, it is a very pretty effect to see these buildings lit up like this at night. It's a lovely picture normally, but all lit up, it's quite magical.

Ok, I'm on my way home at this point. Must be getting close to midnight, so I'm now on the other side of the water. If you look across to the brown building (Arts Club), I was taking the above pictures pretty much from under the green sign on the side of the building. I am now over on the side where the lit condo buildings are. From this side, you can see the very brightly lit dock where the filming is taking place. Notice the rather largish boat on the right? This is part of the film... but whether they were using it in the shoot they were doing that night, I have no idea. I didn't stick around to watch, but it looked like it was going to be an all night shoot.

Ok... not sure you can see it, this picture might be too small. But on the wall, behind where the three tents are, there's a sign that says PIER 17. This is no Pier 17, this is the Public Market , but obviously, in the movie they are at Pier 17. So anyone who sees the movie... if you see Pier 17, this is where we are :)

Hehe... I had to take another picture of the lit up bridge. This is the Granville Street Bridge and I'm taking it from the side where all the lit condos are. This is a rather large bridge as far as lighting it and lighting all these condos... and you can see some of the lights that they are using. This is what fascinates me with these big productions... imagine being the lighting designer. It's one thing to say, the size of the stage/sets are XXX but to design lighting two bridges and a heap of condos and the water and the "Pier 17" set for a ... oh who knows, 1-2 minute scene?? I'm sure Tom Cruise will be running off the dock an hopping into a boat... and that will be the scene. I just find the whole technical set up to be the fascinating part of a movie :)

So, a little more recent... this past week has been an interesting and slightly worrisome week. Like I mentioned up above, it was the first week of Chemo #3, so I pretty much stay close to home on the Week 1's. Wouldn't you know it, Chemo on Tuesday and Bridget ends up with a Colitis flareup on Wednesday. Yes, even doggies can get colitis and it is not pretty. No one wants to see their pets suffer and colitis is every bit as painful for dogs/cats as it is for people. Mucho diarrhea that comes with cramping and intestinal spasms. But the worst part is when the output turns to blood. VERY VERY scary! And you know the poor little darling is suffering. Of course, just like people, the last thing you are thinking of or wanting is food or water... so now there's also the worry of dehydration. The smaller the animal the harder it is on their system and dehydration can set in so quickly. When I realized this was not just a little tummy upset, off we went to Dr. Joan's. Luckily, the clinic (which is just up the street from us) is open until 8pm on Wednesdays (at least the timing for this flareup was good). So, at the clinic, she got rehydrated and a shot to stop the nausea. We also got an oral syringe of medicine/paste that I would have to squirt into the back of her mouth morning and evening... and that would help with stopping the blood/diarrhea. Lucky for Bridget (and me), these meds worked pretty quickly. On Thursday, the diarrhea had stopped (there was nothing left in her!!) and by late Thurs afternoon, she was showing interest in drinking water on her own. She wasn't too interested in food, but later in the evening, if I had fed her the special fibre food Dr. Joan gave us to stimulate her appetite, she took it. But she was not interested in eating on her own... she wanted to be hand fed. ;) Yesterday she was eating more on her own, although I was keeping her meals very small. By last night she was letting me know she was much hungrier than what I was feeding her . So today, we are pretty much back to her normal amount of food... but I'm mixing half of her regular food with half of the special food and she gets three small meals/day rather than two larger ones. Needless to say, I'd say she's on the mend and doing fine!

Of course, she was pretty stinky after her ordeal... so today, Toby (friend who lives across the hall and takes her on all her walkies) gave her a bath. Yes, I know she is so long overdue for a grooming and that was on the agenda that I make her an appt. for this week... but then she got sick. Now, I don't want her to go to the groomers around other doglets until I know she is 100% better and won't have a relapse. So she got a bath at home... and the poor ragamuffin looks like an orphan now! She certainly doesn't look like a well-groomed schnauzer!! LOL!

Bath Time:

"I'm really, really not impressed, Mom! You know I don't do water! I don't do rain, I don't do swimming, and I don't do BATHS!!"

Seriously, have you ever seen anything more pathetic?? She looks like a drowned rat and you can tell by her body language that she is NOT a happy dog. Her little back is hunched over... you'd never know by looking at this picture that she has the perfect schnauzer straight back and holds her head up high, with ears sticking straight up. ;)

Ok... this is post-bath. After running around like a tornado, rubbing herself dry all over the apartment, hopping up and off the furniture and wanting to play "Chase me!"... she finally was dry and worn out. Here she is curled up like a cat on her pillow on the couch, as if nothing had happened :)

Hehehe... had to take this one. She is NOT going to pose for the camera no matter what I try to get her to do :) But I wanted a picture to show just how ungroomed she is... hair falling in her eyes, a beard with no shape... but is she ever soft and does she ever smell good!! :D

Ok... I think that's about it. This is not an entry... it's a saga!! But I figured it was time I added a few more pictures to go with the babble. So, until the next time... enjoy the pictures and for those of you who live close by... I THINK we may be seeing our Spring arrive soon! I need a couple of days where it's sunny so I can actually go out with camera in hand and get some proof that Spring is here :D

Ciao for now!

Cheryl

Wednesday, March 2, 2011 - Catch up and update

Hello Blogmates!

Yes, it's me... and in case you are wondering why you haven't heard from me since Feb 12th, there's been a good many reasons! The same reasons I'm way behind in email too... although I have managed to post some Status Updates and links to various things on Facebook, so everyone on Facebook has known I'm alive .

But, the last entry I did here in my blog was Feb 12th... 6 days after my first "Iri" chemo infusion. At that time, I was saying how I had quite the reactions to the chemo and was not well for 6 days, but that I was starting to feel a little more human on Day 6. Well, I was wrong. The worst was still yet to hit me... little did I or my oncologist know. My system, I suppose, is very, very sensitive to this particular kind of chemo... and the schedule/dosage I was on played total havoc with me. The next 6-8 days were horrid! I have never ever been so sick in all my life, and I thought I had had a few adventures with various illnesses, which I'm sure we all have at some point or other. OMG... there are no words in the English language that can describe how horrid the side affects to some chemos can be. Heck, I think they all can produce them, but since everyone is unique and have their own immune system, we all react differently to the chemos and the various dosages/schedules we are given.

For this first one, I was on a 3-week schedule, meaning that I go into the Chemo Unit for 2 hours one day, and then have 3 weeks to let the chemo do it's thing. The idea is that if one does have some side-affects, there are medicines to treat the side affects and hopefully, you only will have mild symptoms and they will only last for 2-3 days where you are fine, you just feel a little off, or you find you are way more tired than usual and have to allow yourself time for naps. That was what I was expecting... WRONG!! I'm not going to go into detail of the symptoms/side affects, but suffice it to say, not only was I apartment-bound, I was pretty much bed-bound for almost 2 weeks. To the point, I knew that something had to change because there is no way I could do this for 8 rounds, meaning I would be deathly ill for 2 weeks out of 3 weeks for 6 months.

During the second week, there was a production of [title of show] that was opening at the Arts Club Revue Stage that my friends had formed a co-op company to put this show on. I soooo wanted to be there for opening night. I'm not sure if this was the wisest idea but mind over matter, I did go. After all, Grandville Island is only a hop, skip and jump away for me and it would do me good to get out of the apartment (this was during the cold snap we had for a couple of days). I drove myself there, but considering I hadn't eaten anything more than a mug of broth here and there for the past week, I was feeling pretty dizzy and lightheaded... and more than likely was somewhat dehydrated ;) But I LOVED the show and for 90 minutes, the magic of musical theatre which I love so much, totally erased any of the symptoms I was experiencing. It was wonderful to feel like a normal person again! After the performance, I could only stay long enough to say hi and get a hug from everyone (and take a couple of pics) but was feeling a little on the weak side, so it was time for me to head home. Here are a couple from that night and although I was a happy camper, you can see where I'm looking a little on the tired side:

This was actually just before the performance... me and my buddy, Jay Brazeau.

The cast of [title of show] a musical about two guys writing a musical about two guys writing a musical! Funny, funny show... very well done by everyone involved!

After two weeks of being horribly sick, not being able to eat and even having a hard time drinking anything, everything magically went away and I was back to my old self. It literally happened overnight!! So I had a full week of no symptoms, not even being tired! But still, no matter how great I was feeling that third week, I was terrified of having to go through another 2 weeks like this again. But my oncologist assured me, now that we know how I react to this chemo, we will change things up.

During this third week the expected happened (although I wasn't really expecting it to happen until the 3rd or 4th treatment). My hair started falling out. When I was on the other chemos, my hair would thin quite a bit, but since I had so much of it, most people didn't even notice. I did... but hey, it didn't come out in clumps... it thinned pretty evenly all over... so I didn't have to do anything other than get it trimmed. But I could tell during this third week that it was coming out a lot more than just "thinning". Luckily, I was prepared... I had an appointment a few weeks back with a wig consultant. I picked out two wigs that I really like the hairstyles and then left it with her and her wigmakers to customize two wigs to fit my head. Yes, these aren't cheap... but in the long run, I think it makes all the difference in the world to have a wig that actually fits and doesn't slide all over. I picked them up this third week since I was not able to leave the apartment... and it's a good thing I did!

Towards the end of the week, I could literally grab a chunk of hair and I wouldn't even have to tug on it... it would come out as a chunk of hair in my fingers. And for any of you who have cats or dogs who shed and it drives you crazy because there is pet hair all over the furniture and everywhere the pet goes? Well, that was what was happening with me only it was MY hair. The final straw came on the weekend when I was in the shower and decided to wash my hair. I knew to be gentle since it was coming out so easily... but I put a little shampoo in and then gently using my fingers, massaged the shampoo onto my hair... and both hands were covered, literally covered in hair. That's when I knew, I could not pretend it was just going to thin. I gently towel dried the hair, just to get the excess water out and my left side was now mostly bald.

On Monday, I had my appt. with the oncologist and to get my blood work done. I wore one of my wigs to the appts. and as soon as I was finished, I went to City Square Mall to the nearest hair salon, and had them shave the remaining hair off. I am now bald, folk... one of my worst nightmares come true. It's not as bad as I had imagined but I think that's because I did prepare ahead of time. I do have two wigs that I like and can feel comfortable going out in public. I also found some hats (caps really) that I have had over the years... and they actually look cute on my bald noggin :) So when it might get too warm for wigs (in the summer), I can wear one of my caps.

Here are some of my looks (warning... not for the squeamish . Imagine me having to warn you all not to get squeamish looking at me!! LOL!)

I really like this one... this is the picture I use as my Profile Picture on Facebook and when my hair does eventually grow back in, it would be wonderful if I could get my own hair cut in this style. But alas, my hair refuses to be tame, so it would be a lot of work of flat ironing it every day.

Me as a blonde! This one, I had a problem with when I wore it over my own hair... it kept slipping and felt uncomfortable. But now, with no hair underneath, it actually fits really well.

Yep... I now resemble an alien!! I don't think there's any way us females can get used to being bald, whether we had long hair, short hair, thick hair or thin hair. I really don't care what strangers think if they were to see me walking the streets bald... if they have a problem with it, it's their problem not mine. On the other hand, I'd just as soon strangers didn't stare at me, or go out of their way NOT to look at me because "she has cancer!!". So, chances are, unless I totally forget... you won't catch me out in public without a hat or one of my wigs :D

Here I am with one of my soft, ever so comfy hats... and I think it's not a bad look at all! :) I can live with it!

Ok... back to the report. So as I mentioned, I had an appt. with my oncologist, Dr. Sharlene Gill, who is the best oncologist in the world :) For those who haven't seen a picture of her... here's one from back when I first went on chemo 4 years ago...
Check out the frizzy mop of hair I had back then... oh the shame, the wild look! :D

Anywho... Sharlene is the head of my medical team and she coordinates everything to do with my treatments, care, etc. Since I had such a horrid time on this first Iri treatment, she says we are going to make a couple of changes. Instead of coming in once every three weeks, she is going to cut the dose in half and I will come in every two weeks instead of every three weeks. I'll end up getting the same amount of chemo but split up so that I don't get it all at once and it bombards my system. That should cut the side affects way back. I also have a different anti-nausea med, that so far has worked wonders. I had my 2nd chemo yesterday (Tues) and have been on the new to me, anti-nausea med (Emmend) and both today and yesterday I'm doing totally fine. So keep your fingers crossed that this is the answer! If I'm still doing fine tomorrow, then it's off to another opening tomorrow night... down at Granville Island. "The Story of My Life" at the Arts Club Revue Stage :)

And yet another reason why this blog update is so long in coming, besides all of the above... I had to get the Metro Theatre Community Theatre eNewsletter created, formatted and sent out. I had totally forgotten March was around the corner so hadn't started on it until last week. I was too sick the previous two weeks so I was busy, busy, busy working on it right up until I sent it out last night :) For anyone interested in seeing what this eNewsletter is all about, you can get it here -- Metro Theatre Community Theatre eNewsletter - March 2011

Hahahaha... lucky for all of you, Chemo Brain Fog has crept in and I'm sure there was going to be lots more that I was going to comment on... but I've totally forgotten what. Besides, I think this update is plenty long enough! I didn't mean for 3/4 of it to be all about the fallout from chemo... on the other hand, unfortunately this past 3 weeks have been hopefully the roughest and it will be clear sailing from here on in.

Ciao for now!

Cheryl

Saturday, February 12, 2011 - Oy vey! This has been a tough week!

Hellooooo Bloggies!

Well, this is almost a record... the last update was Jan 13th so if I waited until tomorrow, it would be a full month between entries . I have to admit, I'm not proud of that accomplishment, on the other hand, it does mean that life has been very busy this past month, so that's a good thing, no?? :D

Ok... let's start with the nasty stuff. Cancer sucks! Chemo sucks! Side affects suck!! There is nothing pretty or fun about battling the beast... on the other hand, one has to always keep in the forefront there's a reason for having to go through all these nasty side affects/toxins. Unfortunately, the chemo toxins do kill off all the good cells (or as many of them as they can kill off and still keep you alive) but the whole reason one does chemo is that the toxins are there to kill off the bad, cancer cells as well. The difference... good cells can regenerate, cancer cells can no regenerate once they have been killed. Of course, cancer cells can be very hardy and don't ALL respond to the chemo, but there's a good chance we can get a whole bunch of them.

So that leads me to this week. I had my first treatment of Irinotecan (Iri for short) which is a new (to me) chemo. It's not a new chemo as far as treatments go, they've been using it for some time and some people respond really well to it. I'm obviously hoping I am going to be one of those people. But, like all chemos, there are side affects that one can expect. Like any drug, they can list the side affects but it doesn't mean everyone is going to get them... just that there is the possibility you might get one or many of them. It was not my lucky week. I started feeling the nausea within hours of getting home. It's kind of hard to explain the nausea, since it is different than when you say have a stomach flu. Chemo nausea can appear to be the same, but it also comes with intestinal pain, and an overall weakness, even though you know you aren't sick with a stomach bug. Now, I did have the confidence that if I was going to get this, the anti-nausea meds I was given were going to work. Oh oh... I wasn't prepared for "they didn't work". So, my wonderful oncologist did keep in touch with me and she upped the anti-nausea meds, not to mention, I have been living on Immodium. One of the meds is a steroid (dexamethasone) which I have to admit, I find to be a wonder drug. I don't know what it is about the steroid's properties but it was the one med that can control the nausea. It didn't get rid of it per se, but controlled it in such a way that I wasn't vomiting and I wasn't in bad pain... just very, very tired (which is weird because the steroid tends to make you hyper). One of the drawbacks of the steroid is that it can (and did with me) cause a headache. So now we are taking meds to combat chemo side affects and meds to combat side affects of the side affects meds. Had this lasted 2-3 days, it would have been nasty but if that's what it means, I'll be out of commission 2-3 days out of every 21, I could handle that. But it was 5 days of total nastiness and today, although I don't feel strong enough to be leaving the apartment, with the help of the steroid and the anti-nausea meds... I am finally feeling more human. But that's 6 days out of 21... not good! The good news (I hope) is that my oncologist is well aware that reacting like this was a possibility and she says that the next treatment on Feb 28, she will be changing my meds and I'll actually be getting some different anti-side affect meds in my IV, so it's put directly into my system. Hey, she's the one who has experience with this and has done me well up to now, so I have no reason to doubt her that the next time will go much easier.

So that was the downer for this week. I thought I had prepared myself, but I was taken by surprise.... I'm just glad I feel much better today. Meanwhile, my dear friend, Kathy, who is also my financial guru and keeps me on track with my little investment portfolio, send me a lovely little flower arrangement which, even though I was feeling like death warmed over, it certainly did pick up my spirits. Isn't this lovely?



In other news, the most marvelous evening on Sunday, January 30th. That was the night of the annual Ovation Awards which is put on every year by Applause Musicals Society. This awards ceremony is to celebrate musical theatre in Vancouver and the Lower Mainland. Obviously, it is not a dying genre because there were over 52 productions of musicals throughout 2010. That's not 52 performances, but unique individual musical theatre productions put on by various theatre companies throughout the area. It was a wonderful evening of celebrating with fellow musical theatre folk... and ended up being the most wonderful surprise of an evening for me! I was awarded the 2010 Behind the Scenes achievement award which, needless to say, thrilled me to pieces!



As you can see by the look on my face, this was one very happy camper... and what a great boost, knowing I have a bit of a tough road ahead of me. I so love the musical theatre community so it was a real personal honour to me to be acknowledged in this way :)

Well, I'm sure I could dig up some more photos, and if my brain were functioning a bit more, I know I have oodles more to talk about. But alas, I'm having a blank moment and if I wait until I start thinking again, this entry will never get posted . I am now doing a first for this week... I'm cooking dinner. A real, solid food dinner! It will be a chicken breast with a Cheese/Mushroom/Onion sauce and stuffing. Comfort food at it's best. May be a little rich and I may regret this later tonight, but I think getting a meal of comfort food in me will work wonders... and it's a great sign that the worst of this week is now over.

Sooooo... off I go to wait for dinner to cook.... and while waiting, I am going to watch some of the Olympic Anniversary tributes. I can't believe one year ago today, the world came to Vancouver... and what a heck of a 17 day party we had! I'm not sure we need to rehash the Olympics every year... but on the first anniversary, yes, it's kind of nice to remember how Canada was joined together in celebration :)

Cheryl

Thursday, January 13th, 2011 - I missed doing a Christmas and New Year's entry :)

Helloooo bloggy-mates!

Ok, do you think I should enter some contest for the absolute worst blogger? I mean, there is no rhyme nor reason to my entries. They aren't daily, weekly or even monthly! They can be full of promises about how I've turned over a new leaf and am going to do entries more often and then you don't hear from me for weeks. How rotten is that??

So, I'm just going to dive right in and babble away. To save time, I'm not going to put any pictures in this entry, mainly because I'd either have to find them on the computer or download them from my camera (another little task I have not gotten around to). So just what the heck keeps me so darn busy I can't sit at the computer and do a few entries per week? After all, I AM a retiree now, so doesn't this mean I have all the time in the world to just putter about doing whatever I want??

Well, I'm guessing that at some point I will get that luxury... at least , I'm kinda counting on it...I'm just not sure when that's going to happen. So here is my life in a nutshell.... since the last post which was Dec 21st :)

As you all know, I will be going on a new (to me) chemo starting Feb 7th. So that means next Thurs (a week from today) I go to VGH and have the chemo port surgically put in, just under my collar bone. They will insert the catheter from the device into some big old vein (the aeorta?), meanwhile anchoring down the device by sewing it to a muscle, so that it remains in place. They will then staple the wound shut (whatever happened to the old fashioned stitches?). It will have about 18 days to heal before it is used for the first chemo. Now, here comes the fun part... when you go in for one of these they do tell you that you might feel a mild discomfort for the first 24 hours. HA! When I had this done in 2007 we are talking major pain for a whole week, pain where I couldn't raise my right arm any higher than my waist and even that was a challenge. So think about it... if I can't move my arm, then I can't drive because my car is a standard. I need my right arm for the stick. Hehehe... I think this is where I may get my week off where I can just putter about the apartment and on the computer ;)

Now, just what am I doing that keeps me busy, and can I continue that busyness from home? The answer is yes! As some (most?) of you know, I am the Publicist of Metro Theatre. They are one of the few community theatres who do a complete season of 8 shows plus a Christmas pantomime... so 9 productions a year. The shows are back to back... different directors/crew/cast for each one, so in that sense these people are doing one show/season and of course they focus on their show as being the priority. I meanwhile, are involved with all 9 and am working on 3 shows at any given time (the current production that is running at the theatre plus the next two productions that are in rehearsal), plus am publicizing the theatre as a whole.

Now, for the last 4 years, I have also been working down at the TUTS office 3-4 afternoons/week, then 6-7 afternoons and evenings/week once the shows move down to the park. I have freed up that time now (it really was getting to be crazy hours I was working trying to juggle the two companies) and resigned from TUTS in mid-November. Don't get me wrong... I LOVED my time spent down at TUTS and I'm sure you all have heard on more than one occasion how much I would rave about how gorgeous it was to be working smack dab in the middle of the most gorgeous park in the world. It STILL is the most gorgeous park in the world and I admit I will miss that... and miss the work that I loved doing, especially when we were offering Musical Theatre camps to kids ages 6 - 18 yrs. I can't believe how much fun I had doing the registrations, talking to the parents, answering queries and working with the most wonderful instructors -- Diana Kaarina and Richard Coombes. But alas, all good things come to an end and there were some personal reasons for me to choose it was time to leave, before the new season got too much underway.

So, did this free up my time? Well, yes and no. Yes I wasn't going in the office 3-4 afternoons/week but I did offer to help a small group of friends who were doing an Equity Collective Christmas production... Christmas on the Air. This was an absolutely delightful production and it didn't hurt that I adored each and every one of the people involved. I must admit, it was also a real treat to work this small show with no squabbling, no hidden agendas, no "we can't share that with you", and no exclusion. I felt right at home, while at the same time, I really got to live up to the challenge of publicizing this production. I was really pleased with what all I managed to accomplish as far as publicity goes and from what I've been told by Pacific Theatre who was sponsoring the show as part of their season, the show was very successful.

Now, I'm still working on the shows at Metro... and we have the musical in the Spring which will be a huge challenge for me, but I will be up to it, working around my chemo treatments ;) And I have just heard from my friend, Diana, who runs Broadways Edge where they offer musical theatre workshops/classes, as well as voice and dance, asking if I would be interested in organizing the registration for a course another dear friend, the delightful Seana-Lee Woods will be putting on at the studio before she heads back to Ontario. YES!! I jumped at the chance! Both Diana and Seana-Lee were in Christmas on the Air... so anything I can do to help either of them, count me in! :)

Meanwhile, today I had an appt. with my kidney surgeon, Dr. Alan So. I think if you go back in the blog to about a year and a bit ago, that is when I first met Dr. So. I was soooo impressed with him and his attitude/personality. Considering the last surgeon I had any dealings with was Dr. M who took out my right adrenal gland. He did a wonderful job but had the WORST bedside manner. Needless to say, we didn't click at all. But Dr. So was wonderful right from the start. He is my surgeon because of the tumour found in my kidney and assured me that there was no reason to take out the whole kidney... but that the tumour was small enough that we could do a RFA (Radio Frequency Ablation) procedure to remove it. Of course at that time we had no idea if it was a spread of the colon cancer or if it was a brand new primary kidney cancer. The only way of finding out would be when I went on chemo for the colon cancer tumours in my lungs, if the tumour in the kidney started responding by shrinking, then it would be accepted as being a colon cancer tumour. If it didn't respond, it would more than likely be considered a kidney cancer tumour. Well, it didn't respond and it actually has grown slightly... nothing to get too excited about but showing a trend of starting to be active. Dr. So said that if it were to grow over 4mm, then it might be too big to zap... but it currently is just over 1mm. He said that with this kind of tumour, it would take a few years to get to 4mm, as it is... it's been over a year for it to get to 1mm. Anywho, to make a long story longer ... he says that yes, he would like to see us get it zapped. Now there is usually a good 3 - 4 month wait for a non-life threatening RFA procedure, so he would like to get the ball rolling now. He knows I'm about to start chemo for the tumours in my lungs and the RFA can't be done while I'm on chemo... so we are planning that this happen when I'm on a break from chemo in 6 months. He said that he did send my case to the renal conference board... where 6 renal (kidney) specialists went over my case and all 6 were unanimous that I was a good candidate for this procedure since I was doing so well and have so much energy. He says that usually, they wouldn't be this aggressive with a kidney tumour when someone is a Stage IV cancer patient... but he is impressed with how well I'm doing... and how good I look (ok, just telling me I look good, I think I've fallen a teensy bit in love with him ). Sooooo, yayayayaya!! I'm still being given aggressive treatments which is a GOOD THING :)

There you have it. I'm sure there's lots more to yak about, but for those of you on Facebook, you probably follow my adventures over there :D Next entry, I will try to add more photos... photos are always fun!! :)

Ciao for now!!

Cheryl

Tuesday, Dec 21, 2010

Hiya Bloggies! And a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to the lot of you! :)

So, my last post here was Dec 5th... not even a weekly post. But that doesn't surprise me. So much has happened, what with the latest on the health front (will get into that in a minute), getting ready for Christmas and a few odds and sodds on the personal front (not sure I'll get into that here since I really have no idea who all drops by and reads this... and there's nothing worse than gossip starting up from something that was misinterpreted).

WARNING: LONGER THAN USUAL POST!!

Now, before I start, I must add that I have a newly groomed doglet who is, right now, swearing at me. I'm not sure what she is wanting but whatever it is, I'm obviously not giving it to her and she is not amused. It's a little early for her to be wanting to go outside, but maybe that is what she's complaining about.

Uh huh... she did seem to want to go outside to for her last pee of the evening. Not that she really needed to go but the routine is we go outside for a quick trip to the back lane, then back in, up on the bed and she gets her cauliflower floret... then she curls up and goes to sleep for the night (with or without me) ;) That is where she is now.

Hahaha, so where are we? Dec 21? That means only 4 more sleeps until the day that all this preparation has been for. Shopping, shopping, wrapping, wrapping and baking. Lots of baking, although, as of tonight I still haven't done all the baking I had planned on doing. Still, I think I'll have enough for my "gift tins" that I'll be handing out to friends and family. Meanwhile, my apartment is in a bit of a shambles! It's one thing if you have one room set aside for wrapping, bags and stuff. But when in an apartment, it seems to just take over... Arrrrrrgh! Bailey, my cleaning gal will be over on Thursday, so I'm hoping to have all the gifts wrapped, the tins packed and everything stacked up ready to put in the car by the time Bailey gets here. Then she will be able to gather all the Christmas paraphanalia and take it back downstairs to my storage locker.... packed up for another year :)

Now... where are we on the health front? Well, I suppose it's not the worst case scenerio... I have to keep reminding myself that someone always has it a whole lot worse than me... on the other hand, there are just as many (if not more) who have it a whole lot better than me. So, I guess this means I'm not better off or worse off than anyone else, right?

So, if we go back a few months... back to last September, that was when I had my last CAT scan. It was the CAT scan that was taken after the first 3 months or so of being on the oral (pill) form of chemo. That chemo (Xeloda or Capacetabine) was good in that I didn't have a lot of side affects. No nausea or diarrhea or major fatigue which are the three common side affects of any kind of chemo... and of those three, they can vary from very mild to very severe. What I DID have was extreme pain in both my heals... which was a side affect that was not common. Hand and foot syndrome is common with that chemo, where the hands and feet can blister and be anywhere from uncomfortable to very painful... but I didn't get that. I got a severe pain deep inside both my heels, which made it very difficult to walk on two feet that already suffer from pretty severe neuropathy from the first nasty chemo I was on. Well, we adjusted my medication (Lyrica) that I take for the nerve damage and by increasing that, it did seem to help with the pain in my heels... which leads one to believe that that was also nerve damage pain. The results to my CAT scan in September were actually quite remarkable (and made the heel pain worth it). Not only had the chemo stopped the growth of the tumours in my lungs, but the larger ones shrunk by 30% which was better than my oncologist was expecting. So I was on cloud 9! I was willing to put up with the pain and major challenge of walking anywhere, if the payback was the tumours in my lungs were shrinking at a good speed :)

Now, fast forward to December when I got my second CAT scan to see how the tumours were responding. I just naturally assumed that if they shrunk 30% during the first 3 months, then I would get another good 20% or more the second 3 months. Wrong :( Not only did they not shrink anymore... there were about three of them that have started growing, even while I was on the chemo! That means the cancer is not responding to this chemo... so it was a very short run where it was responding and responding well.

As my oncologist said, we are still better off than when we started the chemo in June. Although they are starting to grow, they are still 30% smaller than what they were at the beginning of June. So now we have stopped that chemo and I'm on a 8 week break so that my system can have a chance to recover from the chemo as well as have the chemo leave my body. We will need to start a different chemo... unfortunately, that was the only chemo that comes in oral (pill) form. At the end of January, I will have to go to the hospital and have a port surgically inserted where the original port was placed. I have to be honest here... I am NOT looking forward to this. It is not because of the pain/discomfort of having one of these inserted. I know that will just be a matter of a week or so of being bruised and not being able to us my right arm for much ... as for any pain, that can be taken care of with Tylenol 3s and/or Ibuprofen. No, it's more the reality of the thing. While I was taking the pill form, it was just another medication... I had to take it twice/day, so in the morning I took it with my vitamin pills, in the evening I took it before going to bed when I'd take some ibuprofen for my arthritis. No big deal.. and not something I had to dwell on. But the port is a whole different kettle of fish... no one has a port to take vitamins. No one has a port inserted just because it might come in useful some day. No, the reason you have a port inserted is to administer chemo intraveneously.

You might ask, well, if you are having chemo infused intraveneously, why not have it put in via an IV in a vein in your arm? Yes, for some chemos they will do it this way. But other chemos, when you are going to have to take it over the course of 8 or 12 cycles, it's possible one's veins may not be able to handle that much ongoing pokes. Because not only is it the intravenous, but you also have to have blood drawn the week before each session so they can keep track of your platelets, white/red blood cells, etc. to see if you are strong enough to handle another round of chemo. My veins are problem children at the best of times... if they think they see a needle coming at them, they roll over or collapse. So, having the port is definitely much more convenient... it means they can infuse the chemo without abusing my veins. Also, if I have my blood work done at the Cancer Agency, they have trained technicians who can draw blood through this same port. So, ok... I agree the port is the way to go. But I kind of panicked a bit when she said that maybe we would leave the port in, even if we stop the chemo after the standard 12 cycles... because we may need it again down the road, or if this chemo doesn't work, we'd have to change to a different chemo again. It's just a reminder to me that this cancer is not going to go away... whereas if one doesn't have the port, and you aren't on chemo, then it's very easy to convince yourself that everything is fine.

So, the chemo I'll be going on is irinotecan (for those of you up on your chemos). This is a standard chemo that is used for Stage IV colon cancer and some people have really good results from it. The side affects can be the standard -- nausea, diarrhea, fatigue (all in varying degrees and some people don't experience one or all of them at all). A high percentage of those who get this chemo will lose all their hair... which is something I have not had to deal with before. My hair "thinned" when I was on the last intraveneous chemo, but I never lost all of it, or chunks of it. But the amount of people who DON'T lose their hair on this chemo are few and far between. So, between now and Feb I have to figure out how I'm going to handle this. Do I look for a wig that I can see myself wearing? Do I just go with the hats/scarves? Do I wait until it starts falling out, or do I get it shaved off before so I don't have to witness it coming out in chunks? I know, I know... it's only hair, but it's amazing how when you are given the "What if you were to lose your hair, what would you do?" it really hits home when it now becomes "You are going to lose your hair" rather than "What if?" I don't think I really care about the hair per se... but it's about the fact that I lose control. I can't say "Ok, I'll take the chemo, but I want to keep my hair"... that's not an option when you are going to take these heavy duty toxins. And the stronger the chemo, the more it reminds me that the cancer is a strong bugger and the Chemo "Lite" isn' working with it.

I know, you all are probably thinking, "What IS she going on about??" I think those who have had cancer or are currently fighting the battle themselves understand that the whole fight is very complex. There are no easy answers and obviously the fight is ongoing and one has to fight this monster with some pretty heavy duty artillery (read toxins/poisons) to try and kill it, or at least control it.

Ok, enough of that... I will just have to figure out my plan of action pre-chemo and then while I'm on it if I do have symptoms, then how I will work around them or actually just accept it as part of the treatment and have some "at home" days where I will laze around the apartment watching PVR'd shows, catch up on reading or whatever :)

Hmmm... there were other things I was going to talk about but this post is already way too long for a blog entry. Christmas is literally 4 sleeps away, so things are pretty hectic getting ready. Tomorrow I'll be putting together toiletry packages and then making up a kajillion (ok, maybe about 20-30) sandwiches. Mimi and Nathan will be driving around handing them out to the homeless and street kids. We aren't fighting the snow and cold that Europe is, but still, we do have people out on the streets this Christmas season, so a free handout will probably be appreciated.

Christmas Day I will be spending with family in the morning and afternoon... then I will be going with my friend Steve out to his family's home in Maple Ridge for Christmas dinner. Bridget has had her Christmas grooming, thanks to Auntie Toby and she will be coming out to North Delta with me Christmas morning/afternoon. I'm not sure that she will come out to Maple Ridge. It will be pretty hectic there and she always just makes a beeline for a bedroom and we don't see her all night... so she will probably be happier to be in her own home and Auntie Toby will take her out before I get home.

I wish all of you a Christmas filled with warmth, love and friendship and a New Year of hope, happiness and health! I hope to get back here between Christmas and New Year's but otherwise, I may not type at you until 2011!!

Cheryl

Sunday, December 5, 2010 -- Nothing new

Hi Blogmates,

Ok, nothing new to report but I did want to just check in because otherwise there's a long period of time between entries. Not that there isn't anything happening... hahaha... my goal in the New Year is to slow down somewhat so I'm not feeling constantly like I should be somewhere, doing something, finishing off a project, etc. It's gotten a little out of hand and for someone who supposedly is retired, this is crazy!

Well, yayayaya (I think)... I have now finished 8 Cycles of chemo. For the most part, I've done very well on them and have not had too many side affects other than the ongoing reaction with the bottoms of my feet. OMG but that is not something I want to have to put up with for the rest of my life!! I don't know WHY this particular chemo attacks the bottoms of my heels, I haven't heard of it doing that to anyone else, but suffice it to say, it does and it is NOT fun.

I did a very stupid thing this week. On Thursday, I thought I needed a new battery for my iPhone. Even when I had it plugged in for a couple of hours, it was not showing the battering was holding the charge. So downtown I went to the Apple store. Argh! Turns out I just had to turn it off and then back on. Just like a computer, when things start slowing down, reboot. So, since I was downtown I took advantage of it and did some Christmas shopping. For the amount of time I was down there, I didn't get much done... but I did get some done.

Well, that was probably one of the more stupid decisions I made. I KNOW that the chemo really does a number on my feet the last couple of days of the cycle. Friday was the last day. Sure enough, by the time I got home, I knew I had done a stupid thing! Last night I met Nelli and Blake for dinner at the Keg on Granville Island... and then we went to the opening of Seussical the Musical at the Waterfront Theatre on Granville Island. It literally was around the corner from the restaurant so of course we walked (cars were already parked)... and then walked back. I knew I was going to be in trouble with pain, but by the time I got home, I also knew I didn't have to go anywhere today. HA! Not a chance could I go anywhere... I literally was in bed for 24 hours. Only got up and could drag my foot from the bedroom to the bathroom... didn't even have an appetite all day, so didn't have to go to the kitchen. Thank goodness for Toby, who came and looked after Bridget's needs... out for all her walks, etc. I did get up, finally, at about 10pm... and although my foot is still very tender, it is much better than earlier today.

Poor Bridget is also not a happy camper. She had a little surgery on her leg (not the bad leg from weeks ago) and had a lump removed. So she has stitches... and since she's obsessed with them, she has to wear the cone collar... which she hates. The good news, the biopsy came back benign (yayaya)... and the stitches will come out on Tuesday. Phew!

Not a happy camper!



Toby holding Bridget up, but not rescuing her from the dreaded cone!

Oh, and I forgot to mention... it's about the mall downtown. It just goes to show how long it's been since I hang out downtown and for all I know, this is the norm everywhere. But it was news to me! Ladies... have you noticed the newest hand dryers in the public washrooms?? No more is it the paper towels or the cloth ones that forever get stuck in the roller.. or even the wall ones that blow air on your hands but you still leave the restroom with your hands wet. Now they are super dryers... where you stick your hands in... move them up and down and your hands will be dry in 12 seconds... and they are!! Soooo weird!!

Weird-looking, no??


It even comes with it's own instructions and pictures of where to put your hands

Ok... that's it for now!. Time to treat myself to a cold cold Japanese mandarin orange (not the dry, yucky Chinese ones that Safeway tries to fool you with, but the original Japanese mandarin). They are like candy!! :) I love this time of the year!! :D

Hugggggggs,

Cheryl

Sunday, November 21st, 2010 (Although it's 5 minutes until Nov 22)

Hiya Blogmates,

Yep, it's been awhile again, but it's because I have been busier than usual. I'm not even sure why, but when I stop to see what's on my agenda, it does appear that I am juggling a bunch of things at the same time. For instance, I am doing the Publicity for Metro's season, which means the current show that is on stage (SPIRIT LEVEL by Pam Valentine) and the January show (HERE ON THE FLIGHT PATH by Norm Foster). If you recall, Norm Foster was here in town last spring and we had a wonderful experience meeting him, driving him to/from two rehearsals of another one of his shows (OPENING NIGHT) that we were doing back then and then we had a Talkback Session with the audience after one of the matinee performances with him. It was a big success, so it just happens that we are doing another one of his shows in January. Norm has been described as "Canada's Neil Simon". ;)

Anywho, I'm also doing a Christmas show with a different company. This is an Equity Co-Op (Mountain Theatre Collective) and Pacific Theatre (at 12th and Hemlock). There are 5 brilliant performers in this show -- Diana Kaarina, Damon Calderwood, Seana-Lee Wood, Lalainia Lindbjerg and Benjamin Elliott -- and for any of you in the lower mainland, you may really want to seriously think of taking in this show (Dec 10 - Jan 1). Pacific Theatre is a small venue, only 126 seats, so you might want to reserve your tickets early (604-731-5518)

I also want to mention that earlier last week, my old gang from my government job had a wonderful Retirement Party for me, even though I retired back in February. Because of my health at the time and the possibility of kidney surgery, then I got busy with the summer theatre down at TUTS, we finally all found time in the Fall ;) It was lovely and so nice to see the gang again. Although I have been able to visit now and again, since my diagnosis, I have been off work for 4 years! Can you believe it, it's been that long? So I'm surprised anyone remembered me .

Speaking of health... I'm a little concerned. Hopefully, this too shall pass when we figure out what's going on. As you all know, I have been on chemo (pill form) since June. In September I had a CAT scan and the results were very good... the largest of the tumours had shrunk by 30%. That made me very happy... and makes it very worthwhile to continue with the chemo. The next CAT scan would be 3 months later, which will be December 7th... and obviously, we are hoping for another good result. We won't know until my Dec 9th meeting with my oncologist. Now, considering the Sept scan was so good, I was really not too concerned about the Dec one other than it will be nice to hear that the tumours have continued to shrink. The side affect I've been feeling with this chemo is pain in the heel of my left foot (the first round it was severe in both feet, but I have increased my nerve-pain med, so now it's just in my left foot), and of course, the painful neuropathy in both feet, but I had that before starting this pill form of chemo. I am really looking forward to being able to have a break from the chemo just to give my foot a running chance at getting over the chemo and being normal again (as normal as a damaged foot can be).

Well, the concerning part has been that although the CAT scan was great, the CEA (tumour marker) readings were not going down. At first, they went up by a fraction... then in late October the reading was 6.9. Now, just the blood work I had done this week, the CEA is at 8.5. This is a slow climb, but so far, the CEA readings have been very accurate for me and when it shows a rise, then usually there's a reason for it.

Sharlene (my oncologist) sent me an email tonight at 11pm (does that lady never go home to sleep??) to say send me the CEA results because she knew I was concerned about them and we didn't have them on Thursday when I was there to see her. She said that they've gone up again but this does not change our plan which is that I will finish this 8th cycle of chemo (which I start tomorrow) and then have the CT scan on Dec 7th. It will be that scan that will determine what is causing this rise in CEA... if there is something happening in the lungs (existing tumour(s) that may not be responding to the chemo, or new tumours that have cropped up and are not responding to the chemo), or if it is the "lesion" (tumour) in the kidney that may not be responding to the chemo and is growing. Those are the two areas she is concerned with... if it is the kidney, then after this CT scan we will see when the kidney surgeon can fit me into his schedule and do the RFA procedure to zap that tumour out of the kidney. If it's the lung tumours, then it may mean changing chemo from the oral chemo (which we thought was doing so well) to an infusion chemo, which means getting the port put back in my chest and doing the chemo by IV and pump. Please send your thoughts my way that the oral chemo is still working and that we don't have to go to the IV chemo... and not that I want there to be a problem with the kidney, but if that is what is causing the problem, then send thoughts that this procedure to zap the tumour in the kidney will go as smoothly as it did when the radiologist in New Westminster zapped that tumour in my lung.

It just is never ending, is it?? Meanwhile, yesterday, the weirdest thing happened to me and this has not happened since the few months before I was diagnosed. I felt just fine and off I hobbled over to Davie Street (1 1/2 blocks away) to the hair salon that my guy works out of every two weeks. I got my hair coloured/cut and was feeling great when I left the salon. I got home and was about to sit down at the computer when I started feeling queasy in my stomach. So I decided to lie down and have a bit of a nap, even though I had a ton of stuff I needed to get done. I got up about an hour later and really felt sick to my stomach. Now, I knew it wasn't food poisoning because the only thing I had to eat since the night before was 2 pieces of toast and a cup of tea. But sure enough, I got sick to my stomach. Nasty, quite violent heaves. When I was finished, I felt a little weak, so went back to bed... but within 10-15 minutes, I was feeling just fine. And have been fine ever since. So it's not food poisoning and I think that eliminates a flu bug since a flu bug would last at least 24 hours.

Now that I know my CEA has gone up, I'm even more paranoid as to why I got sick to my stomach out of the blue. Like I say, that happened before they knew what was wrong with me... mind you, at the time, I had a large tumour that was more than 3/4 blocking my intestine. I don't have any tumours in my intestines... at least, not in September when we had the last scan.

Ha! So as you can see, even when one is feeling good, there is always something going on and always something to worry about. Heck, I think if all the tests/scans showed that all tumours had shrunk down to nothing and the CEA was back down to 1.0 - 2.0, I would end up worrying wondering "Why?? When does the next shoe drop!?!?"

Well, I think I better head to bed. It's now 12:30am and I am getting up in the morning to head off to the BC Children's Hospital. I am volunteering at an event to bring awareness to their "Shaken Baby Awareness Program" and to bring awareness to new parents about "Purple Crying". Purple crying is when a new infant cries so hard his/her little face turns purple. This is not normal, but there's not a lot of awareness out there about this... and when a baby is crying that loud and that long, that's when tired parents are susceptible to shaking their babies. But when the crying is this bad... it could be a serious problem. They are finding more and more often that babies who die of SIDS have had this Purple Crying syndrome. So there is an event tomorrow where they have had a bunch of volunteer knitters knitting little purple newborn caps to give to ALL parents of newborns for the next week. There are something like 3000 of them that need to be sorted and tagged, as well, there will be knitters on site, and the media will be there.

So there you have it. Not much else I can add until we have that scan... and now, when this was going to be a scan that was more just a formality, I will be on pins and needles from Dec 7th when I have the scan to Dec 10th when I see Sharlene.... and that wait in the waiting room will be incredibly anxious. Of all the things one has to go through, that is what I hate the most... the waiting.

Cheryl